Tell SMPS.Net How YOU Get Animated!
May 29th, 2011

Hey, it's been a while since we've done one of these, and since I've recently begun accepting Guest Contributations again full-time, it's time to do that thing where everybody talks about some of their favorite things and assigns pointless numbers to them indicating preference! That's right! It's LIST time! Some websites make their entire living off of making shitty and predictable lists that ignorant sheep just can't get enough of, so what the hell, why can't we? It's time to put on those thinking caps, open up a fresh Notepad file, and get ready to participate in...

SMPS.Net's Top 10 Favorite Cartoons Of All-Time!

Yay! Everybody loves cartoons (and lists!), and if you don't, then you are a gigantic liar (or a really un-fun and boring person, and I want nothing to do with you!) Well, now's your chance to tell the world what animated works tickle your fancy the most. Participating is just as easy as it's ever been, so just follow the simple guidelines below and get those lists sent off to me!

1. Write about your top ten favorite cartoons! That's pretty simple, right? It can be anything from western animation, Japanese Cartoons, feature-length animated movies, whatever! It counts as a cartoon and you love it, so it deserves to be on your list. There's no restriction here, so long as it counts as an animated work.

2. Provide me with an image or two to use! I'm not going to scour the internet to put pictures to your words, so take or find a screenshot(s) or some promotional art of some sort so we have something visually to better understand what you're talking about. Name your images clearly with either the show's name, or more preferably, the number at which the entry appears on your list.

3. Follow the guidelines on the Submissions and Contact page. If you don't, I will ask you to re-submit your piece in the proper format. I don't have time for the headaches caused by people not following the simple guidelines anymore.

4. Have your piece in my inbox by the night of July 17th. That's your deadline. Deadlines have changed in the past, but for now, that's what we're rolling with. The entire collection of lists will likely go live on the site sometime around a week or so after the deadline.

5. Have fun with it! There's no specific way your list has to be presented. Your list is yours, do it up however you please and have fun with it!

That's about it! So, get to crackin'. You got plenty of time to think about and work on it, so do your part and help us help you help make the internet a substantially dumber place by polluting it with another list! You'll get to go to Heaven if you do!


Saturday Is Mana Day!
May 28th, 2011

And I hope you're all just as excited as I am!

Today, FatKakashi and his long-term girlfriend decoy octopus return to delight, amaze, and entertain with the twelfth installment of their tag-team Let's Play of Secret of Mana 2! Sure, it's finally looking a bit nice outside, and you may have things to do, but surely you can dedicate 28 of those precious minutes to watching two of the internet's most popular and revered Let's Players stumble their way through a Japanese Role-Playing Game while cracking wise about it! And if you can't? Well, let's just say there's gonna be problems, so get your ass over there and start watching now.

Guest Contributatan announcement tomorrie! Stay tuned!


Guest Contributatan Returns
May 25th, 2011

As promised, though a bit later than anticipated because I'm a lazy shmuck, Guest Contributating has returned! That means you (except you!) can again begin submitting articles to be featured on the internet's favorite website, Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net. Just think of how popular you're gonna be with the ladies now!

I've added a few notes to the submissions page, specifically under the "A. Document" portion of the page. Just a few things you can do to make everything go easier. Also, since I'm settling into a new job and am generally more active these days in offline endeavors, your wait time may be a little longer than it's been in the past, but rest assured, I do read everything and I will get back with you.

In addition, I'll be announcing a new community-wide themed contributate-o-thon this weekend, so stay tuned!


A Quiet Evening By The Fireplace
May 20th, 2011

No, no, the game's not over! Not by a long shot, and for Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus that can only mean one thing! MANA TIME! It's been a while, but fret not, my little chickadees, for our favorite 16-bit adventurers are here again with the newest installment of their Secret of Mana 2 Let's Play. This one entails a warm evening by the fireplace...that wants them dead. Do we have yet another Spikey Tiger on our hands, or are they strong and wise enough from their pixelated travels to escape the heat? Find out in this gripping episode by clicking the link! It'll butter your toast!

Speaking of buttering toast, why is the Uncharted series so popular? These games are kinda boring save for a few nice set pieces and action sequences, to be quite honest.


Let's Go Bird Watching With (Creepy) Uncle Beepner!
May 17th, 2011 what I'd be saying if Ol' Beepner's shot at fame on late night Animal Planet didn't just go down in a mushroom cloud of failure and golf ball-sized tears. Something about too much sweat and man boobs. And sweaty man boobs. You'll be able to catch the rejected pilot on YouTube next month, so get those internet machines ready! While recovering from the sadness brought about by his rejection (using "The Beepner Method" of coping, which involves eating handfuls of peanut butter and crying in bed) he actually managed to write a coherent word or two about the Birdy The Mighty Decode seasons 1 & 2 Japanese Cartoon! Of all the properties to bring back, who'd have thought of Birdy The Mighty? I'll tell ya who: The guys that made it! So, go on over there and read about it!

Until next time!


May 6th, 2011

HEY LOOK! WE'RE TIMELY YET AGAIN! Tell all your friends it's not just 800 year-old NES games that nobody cares about! Polly ACTUALLY DOES play games that were released after 1989! WHAT A FUCKING SELL-OUT!

Well, I guess the title kinda gave it all away, which saves me a bit of blurb time...which is good, because sometimes I just hate writing these things! Anyway, yep, I went and wrote some words about that there release of Port Hole 2 that all the kids seem to be buzzing about. Two things to note here: 1. I only reviewed the single player portion of the game. B. This review does contain some mild spoilers in text and screenshot form, so if you've yet to play it, you probably shouldn't read it. Not that you were going to anyway, yeah?

But I'm not the only one that had some words to say about Port Hole 2, so I'll do some frontpage plugging for your convenience, in case you haven't had enough holes! EVERYONE LOVES HOLES, SO LET'S HAVE MORE OF THEM!

First up, our old friend Mirai over at GamePad Dojo stopped pretending he was a pretty pony long enough to play through and review Port Hole 2 as well! It is definitely in your best interest to go give it a read, lest he come over and pretty pony poopy all over your lawn. I'm no genius (read: I am, actually), but you probably don't want that... Again, probably some spoilers here, so you have been warned.

Lastly, Traitor Magnus over at corruptedsave takes a dive face first into Port Hole 2 cake and splatters some storyline all over the kitchen. DEFINITELY DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED! He makes a lot of interesting points about Valve's handling of Port Hole 2's story, and I definitely think it's worth a read.

So there! All the Port Hole 2 you can possibly stomach to keep you nice and full over the weekend!


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