NES Week Part Deux: Day Final And Closing Statement
July 7th, 2006

Well this is it. The final day! We've all made it this far, but the journey ends here for most of you, and since I'm the site's creator, I get to be the only survivor. See ya in hell, fuckmos!

It's the end of the line for Mr. Fallout as his final 20 Story Tall Review crashes down on top of him leaving nothing but a little bloddy puddle with some bone dust residue that byron's likely to stop by and snort up.

Decoy's late submission landed him three shurikens to the face and one sai right up the ol poopy hole. No word on whether he enjoyed it or not, but all signs are pointing to "Yes."

Peaches' final installment of Human Reviews came from out of nowhere and strangled him to death with his own pants. There's quite a few questions surrounding this one and as you might guess they're all linked to the pants thing, but I think we're all better off not knowing.

Unfortunately, Pat has disappeared. Currently, his whereabouts are unknown and the only clue left behind was an increibly long article that's probably going to knock you all down. I probably should have turned this evidence over to the police beforehand, but eh. Fuck it.

Poor ChimpoMcCrazypants met his demise as he jumped toward that ladder hanging over the spikes and couldn't manage to press Up in time. He eploded into a million, bazillion particles, leaving behind only a mess of pixels. It was his last life too :(

The final piece of NES Week happy-super-awesome-mega delightness happens to be some old scans I found about a year ago and only managed to remember I had recently. They're probably really awesome if you were a child of the NES era, and stupid and boring if you weren't...Kjil.

And that's a wrap!

It's been an exhausting week getting this whole thing together, but it was incredibly worth it. Nothing like revisiting one of the coolest periods of your life and being able to relate to others' experiences as well. The trip down memory late was a fantastic sucess.

To be quite honest, when I originally announced this event and asked for reader submitted content, I didn't expect more than 2-5 pieces to make it in. Everyone involved really amazed me though, and put forth a lot of work and time to help make this something much bigger than it was supposed to be. What started out as a really boring 5 review week-long event turned into probably the best nostalgia trip ever, thanks to the efforts of a lot of really cool people.

So to Jaq, Mild Guy, kc Green, Pitchfork, Peaches, Fallout, Hutch, Spyda, decoy, Kjilly, and Chimpo McCrazypants, I send my sincerest thanks for your time and effort and truly appreciate all you've contributed to making this whole thing work. You all fucking rock.

Thank you, and good night!


NES Week Part Deux: Day Four
July 6th, 2006

We're closing in on the homestretch as this wonderful week of 8-Bit Goodness enters its fourth day of that oh so good ooey, gooey content. So get a plate, cause this shit's DELICIOUS!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


And that will be my final contribution of the week, so I hope you enjoyed them. I had an article planned, but it's just not coming out the way I want it to and I don't want to do another review just for the sake of having something. I'll probably finish it at a later date, though.

Anyway, Mr. Fallout won't stop having sex with your mom until you go and check out his fourth review of the week. It's guaranteed to delight. Well, not really. It's typical Fallout.

God I love having a site that no one else can edit! YOU GOT BURNED, SON!

And in this corner, in the black trunks with white trim, weighing in at staggering 6,479 characters, including various HTML markup...Your current reigning champion of the WVBA...Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Mild "Mild Guy" Guy! Be sure to watch out for that vicious right hook review of one of the single, if not, GREATEST NES games EVER released. Dodge his punch, then counter-punch!

And while we're sort of at a theme here today with the sports-like reviews (believe me this wasn't intentional), The Hutch has submitted a lovely turquoise review of a game that tries to do a million things at once!

And last, but certainly not least, though never really mentioned to have been made as an update for NES Week, Kjilly's done went and drawed one awesome as fuck looking head sucker. Watch in awe. Aeria gloris.

Now get the fuck out. I gotta get this place ready for tomorrow!


NES Week Part Deux: Day Three
July 5th, 2006

You say I'm horrible to you. That I don't appreciate you enough. That I don't say "I love you" as much as I used to." That you don't like the razor strap beatings...WELL THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK?

Ohhhhhh, think I know what it is... You just can't get enough of this NES Week stuff can you? Yeah, no matter how bad things get, it'll always be about the content. Well, baby, lay back and enjoy, cause I got even more of that hot text n' pics on screen action comin right atcha.

Now take your clothes off.

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD fuck it I can't think of one reason why ANYONE would want to play this game

I think things may be going just as bad for poor Fallout over here too, as we check in on part three of his five day review extravaganza. Careful, though. This review DOES contain reference to a place where food can be acquired, and I don't want my site being blamed for you becoming even more of a fatty, fat, fat.

Things are about to get a little long-winded up in here, as Spydakween has decided to take over the entire conversation and not let anyone get a word in edge-wise as he shares with us some gaming experiences from his childhood. Given the guy's absolute adoration of his own voice and words, I expected an entire book to be written, but amazingly (and quite thankfully) he's given us all something we can easily manage. Except byron. He's dumb. And can't read. And is gay...

And once again, we check in on ol' Peachface McFuckhead for part two of his piece on Human Reviews. Go read it. It'll make you a better person and doves will appear from out of nowhere and fly around. I don't know why.

And that's your day's dose of content. Now get out. No one said you could stay over after we were finished.


NES Week Part Deux: Day Two
July 4th, 2006


Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


Fallout's back with part two in his series of reviews with a game no one's probably heard of, but you should at least try just once. Seriously, after reading this review, I needed to get some better screencaps for it, so I went out and grabbed a ROM anticipating I'd only play one or two minutes tops. I was still playing 90 fucking minutes later. I honestly can't explain it. Maybe he can. .

Also, in with his first of two reviews this week, is one Mr. Mild Guy. He's fucking creepy, kooky, mysterious, and extremely spooky, but we love him just the same and I think you will too! Ya know what else I heard about him though? That his house is a museum where people come to see him! I bet that's a scream! (God that was just downright terrible, wasn't it?)

And finally on the list today, good ol' Uncle Pitchfork drops by and starts blabbering and blabbering and blabbering like always about the "olden" days. He DID steal my idea for an article, but we try not to upset Uncle Pitchfork too much or he loses control of his bowels :( Anyway, It's a damn good read and I think he really captures the feeling of what it was like to be a kid in the good ol' days and have an NES.

Thank you, come again! All salads are 50% off tomorrow!


NES Week Part Deux: Day One
July 4th, 2006

Well, I knew you couldn't wait any longer for it, and you can finally rest easier and let the joy flow freely back into your meaningless little lives knowing that it's FINALLY HERE! Yes, the time has come for the sky to burst open and drop a complete five days worth of NES gaming goodness down onto your miserable heads. All five days are ready to roll and are packed full of reviews, an article here and there, and ... well other shit, I think. So, pull up a chair and enjoy all the content forthcoming this week and reminisce with me and my friends about the best (and believe me, some of the absolute worst) that the NES era of gaming had to offer.

Up first...

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


I'm not the only one with fresh content this time around. In fact, Fallout has proven to be my biggest copycat. Just like myself, he's got a review per day as well, and he'll absolutely cry his little eyeballs out if you don't head on over and take a look at part one of his five day NES Special.

Peaches brings us part one of his three part series in the field of Human Reviews. An interesting and original idea worth checking out. Part Two will be posted on Wednesday, so keep an eye out for it.

And moving over to the weirder side... Well shit, this one's in the paragraph AFTER Peaches... sooo..hmmm.. ANYWAY, we've got a nice contribution in the form of an article from one Jack. He's taken the time to give you all some schoolin' on what he believes to be a high profile, yet highly underappreciated game. So click that fucking link, you tardmos. And listen to what Uncle Jack has to say. He may seem out of his God damn head at times, but he's wise beyond his years. Okay, he paid me $20 to say that.

A couple other contributions come in the form of some cosmetic things you'll see around the site all week.

ChimpoMcCrazypants was kind enough to re-do the smps banner and give it some old-school 8-Bit flavor for the week. I think it looks rather awesome (and you do too). I heard that he even stayed up super late to get it finished, so thanks little robot dude.

kc Green was kind enough to submit the little icons you'll see on every front page post this week, so enjoy them and give his comics a look while you're at it. He put them together on really short notice and did a magnificent job on all of them (which you'll see later in the week) and he's got my sincere thanks for doing so.

So, enjoy the content, drag out your NES, and play some good games.


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