Talking Place!
October 31st, 2008

Great news! Remember how I kept saying something cool was coming in a few days and then a few days went by and Pat's FFX article went up? Well that wasn't what I was talking about. Nope!

The great news is that now you, the loyal smps fanbase, now have a brand new place to babble amongst yourselves and with the fine folks who read 8 Easy Bits.

WE'RE JOINED AT THE HIP NOW! With Pat's comic, my site, and our forum combined, NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW CAUSE WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE!

So if ya like what you read around here and like talking about games and whatever other crap you can think of with some pretty cool people, why not stop on by, register, and post it up?. Don't gimme any of this register and never post shit either, WE WANNA TALK TO YOU! I mean it! Really!

Let's do this thing!


Final Fantasy X
October 29th, 2008

Polly is letting me update the front page of Socks Make People Sexy dot net. Move over, winning poetry awards and spending all the prize money on more drugs -- MY WRITING CAREER HAS A NEW HIGH POINT.

So yeah -- the Final Fantasy X thing is done. It somehow took fecking forever and I am too physically, mentally, and emotionally drained to say much else here. This foray through the Final Fantasy series has turned into something out of Dante's inferno. We've just passed through the Seventh Circle, and now we're taking a swan dive into the Malebolge.

Final Fantasy XI. It just gets better and better.

I can't do this one alone. If I can't muster together a regular posse, my only real hope is to make my character a female white mage and then flirt and shmooze my way to success. (Which, in all likelihood, will have to happen regardless.)

So! If any of you folks out there are up for signing up for Final Fantasy XI and helping me tear up Vana'diel for about a month or so, please drop me a line ( It's not going to happen right away, of course; I'm thinking about starting around Christmas, when a lot of people will have time off from work/school. I'll get a mailing list together and then keep everybody updated as plans change/solidify.

And now I'm going to turn things back over to Polly and I'm going to get some sleep. Now this this article's done, maybe Tidus and Yuna will stop laughing at me in my dreams.


October 27th, 2008

Peaches dropped on by to take yo' ass on another kinda trip! Where the hell's he been since forever anyway? None of that matters! What DOES matter is that he happened to shoot off a fancy little triple review entitled "Peaches' Portal Packtacular", a trifecta of games based around Valve's Portal and Half-Life 2 series. You love Peaches, so you'll read it, right? Right?

Also, things still comin, just stay tuned.


Brain Boot Camp
October 23rd, 2008

You're all a bunch of bumbling fuck morons. There I said it. I don't know how else I can put it. I'd delve deeper, but I'm afraid that words containing over three syllables are a little too much for your pea-brains to handle. The only person I know of that could dumb it down for you even more would probably be our long-lost pal Master of AFTER and he's got just the ticket with a brand new Brain Age: Train Your Brain In Minutes A Day DS review for your consumption. I hope we can all learn something from this.

Also, something new coming to the site in the next 1-5 whenever Pat deems it so days.


It's Triple-Threat Tuesday!
October 21st, 2008

You're tuned into All Guest Content All Day right here on WSMPS TV. You're just in time for our early morning (or whatever fucking time of day it is for you) lineup, so please stay tuned.

Up first, a smps debut from a budding young hopeful named Wolf. In this debut role, Wolf takes us on a biting critique of one of 16-bit's most cherished titles. Can YOUR sentimentality take it? Tune in to find out.

Fresh off his week-long 16-bit mini-series, Irish returns on a very special episode of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Review. Something so shocking happens in the first five minutes that you won't forgive yourself if you miss this very special event.

And finally today, we revisit an old favorite. MooMan1 stars in a special and often (like what...a year or somethin'?) delayed made-for-smps-tv production of MooMan1's Top 25 Games of All-Time. Don't miss the special musical performance featured in this one or you'll be the laughing stock at the watercooler tomorrow.

All of today's content is brought to you by the letter C, co-editing by Rhete and was made possible by contributors like you.


Bring The Payne
October 20th, 2008

Welcome to Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net!

Today's Specials are:
Squid - $12.99
Sheepbaaaager - $3.99
decoy Jerky - $.99
Rhete's Super Spicy Max Payne Movie Review w/special dipping sauce - $Priceless.

Hurry up and order, I ain't got all fuckin' day.


Guns, Guns, Guns!
October 19th, 2008

Heeeeeeey there, guy! I know I said I'd have more guest content coming soon and the first bit trickles out today. Our long-lost friend Ed returns to us after a long bit of soul searching in a bowl of jell-o to give us his take on the Top 10 Overrated Weapons in Videogames. Do you like lists? THEN YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE!

Alright, alright, yes, I'm gonna try and get every bit of guest content that's currently in queue out this coming week, just have a little (read: little) more patience please.


Vanor The Unlikely
October 14th, 2008

It's the inevitable return of the great Vanor Orion. I know you're all as excited as I am! On this fine day in the middle of an October of a 2008th year, he delivers us a Super NES review of Lester The Unlikely. Will Vanor eventually break free from his nerdy shell or remain Captain Dork 1st Class the rest of his life? Only one way to tell.

Ice cream parlor. More guest stuff coming, stay tuned!


Swing And A Hit!
October 12th, 2008

Been a while since I did anything for my own damn site, but you know how being busy goes. Today is a joyous day though, for I have actually finished something and am posting it now! That's right, by clicking on this here link right here you can check out a hot little Bionic Commando double-feature I just finished up. Go on, swing dat shit!

More guest content coming mid-late next week.


Irish Presents: (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week Day Final
October 10th, 2008

Today we reach the end of Irish's week-long love song to one Sega Genesis. And what better note to end this whole shebang on than a wonderful little Phantasy Star Retrospective. It's one of the greats, and Irish is gonna school all you twats who've never touched one of the four classics about why they're so awesome.

And with that, we all thank Irish for his bounty of submissions this week and patience in waiting for it all to finally get put together and live. Hope everyone enjoyed it!

Tune in next week for even more guest-submitted content. Yeah, I'll even be getting back with those of you who I haven't responded to via email yet about your stuff. Busy, busy, busy...sick sick sick...



Irish Presents: (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week Day Four
October 9th, 2008

Hey guys! Remember when consoles used to have exclusive games? Well, Irish does! In fact, he even wrote a little bit about the topic for today's (Too Cool For) Genesis Week update! Go read it while I get rid of this headache.

Be sure to tune in for tomorrow's final day festivities and a final article that's just chock full of neato-ness.


Irish Presents: (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week Day Three
October 8th, 2008

We're now a little over halfway through this crazy little thing called "Irish Presents: (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week" and what in the world could ol' Irish have in store for us today? Well, how about a fancy pants top five list of games for the ol Genny that he believes you may have never played? LIIIIIIIISTS! An added bonus is that every game on this list is Polly-approved. Not that it matters since it's not MY Genesis Week, but I'll endorse whatever the fuck I want.

I hate presidential debates, because no matter how many times I say I won't watch, I fucking do.



Irish Presents: (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week Day Two
October 7th, 2008

Comin' straight outta net-land, a crazy motherfucker named Irish. And he's got the cure for your 16-bit crisis.

The dawn of day two of (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week brings us another fine episode of the ol' bit-o'-16 craziness, as we get schooled in the ways of how much the SEGA rocked. God, it almost makes me cry reading things like this seeing how shitty SEGA is today...

So you go read that, I'm feeling flu-ish. Tune in tomorrow for even more crazy (Too Cool For) business.


Irish Presents: (Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week Day One
October 6th, 2008

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR BROWSER'S RECEPTION! This isn't deja-vu (that game was the shit), and no we haven't suddenly been transported in time back to the end of July. No, you've officially stumbled and tripped into an alternate dimension known as...

Irish's (TOO COOL FOR) SEGA Genesis Week


Your SMPStation will be tuned to all Irish all the time this week as he takes us through a grand 16-bit journey only capable of 64 colors on-screen at once. So sit right back and get comfy, cause this fucker sure can talk a lot!

He begin's the week's festivities with an article not directly centered on the Sega Genesis, but more of an in-depth look at the Sega beast as a whole.

Don't forget to tune back in tomorrow and the rest of the week for more Irish, because you know you love him. I don't, but I'm sure you do.


We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast
October 2nd, 2008

It's that time again! Time for another week-long event! OH HAPPY DAY! But this one's gonna be a little different! This one's just one guy, flying solo, controlling the airwaves of everything you'll see on this site from Monday-Friday of next week. Why? Because... hey, fuck you, it's my site and I can do whatever I want!

Anyway, our friend Irish happened into a bit of bad luck with the FBI and some stuff found on his computer or something (I don't know all the details, something about squirrels) and ended up missing that awesome blow-out of content we had back in July known as SEGA Genesis Week. However, thanks to both the legal system and my neverending vat of kindness and love for all things, our dear friend has been given a second chance. A second chance at society. A second chance to be a contributor.

As part of "paying debt back to society," Irish has offered up an entire new week's worth of content focusing on the Genesis! Think of it as Genesis Week Part II or rather...

(Too Cool For) SEGA Genesis Week

In order to get you all stoked, he's written a bit of a teaser for what you can expect here next week. One I'm sure all of us who grew up in the era will spend more time digging through than we should.

So, while you're there at your little cubicle reminiscing about days gone by, be sure to drop by here beginning Monday of next week for another all Genesis-themed week brought to you by the power of community service.


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