heavymetalmage Is Your Guide To Halloween Media Enjoyment!
Socktober 27th, 2011

Jesus Christ, Polly, stop with the constant stream of updates. What is this, January? Are you sick? NO! I am just fine, and so are our fine Guest Contributators, I'll have you know! Well, most of them anyway. That one guys...hoooo-boy. I'm not gonna say who, but yeah...that guy....

Anyway, what we're serving up today is something special! heavymetalmage has committed himself to AN ENTIRE YEAR OF UPDATES! Yep! 365 straight days of brand-new cont---are you out of your mind? No way in hell I'd let someone do that! I am WAAAAAAAY too damn lazy to let someone try and pull a stunt like that! The year of updates part is right, but it's a feature that will be running an entire year.

Holidays. I'm not the biggest fan of 'em, but our boy heavymetalmage sure is, and he's damn determined to make sure you enjoy them as much as he does. He'll be dishing out holiday-inspired recommendations across various forms of media to help enhance your holiday enjoyment. With Halloween just around the corner here in a few days, he kicks things off by providing a fun guide to the best creepy, cooky, mysterious, and spooky things you should be checking out! Hop on over and give it a read. I'm sure he'll be back here next month to delight all our bellies with another feast of entertainment.

And that's another update!


A Scoring Complex
Socktober 25th, 2011

Holy shit! Two updates in a row! Even crazier? I DID SOMETHING! Say goodbye to your loved ones, everybody, because the world is ending this very night! Also, send me all your money so I can donate it to god. I mean, we're all being raptured, right? You don't need all that useless paper weighing you down! Just means you'll float up to Heaven slower! A burden I'm willing to take off your angelic shoulders!

Recent events of minor relevance aside, yes indeed, I did do something! You see, we recently got an XBob 360 and amazingly it's still working! My Jubilee-esque powers of destroying electronics has yet to rip the system's gust asunder, which means I recently got to play and finish Shadow Complex and then I wroted up a thingo about it! I know, it's probably something I shoulda had on the site years ago, but hell man, it takes a lot of energy to be this lazy, and I am some kinda kryptonite for 360s, lemme tell ya! So, there's that.

A final note today is something I've been mulling over for months now and finally acted on.

See, a while ago, I decided that review scores are pointless and fucking stupid. Everybody has their own interpretation of what any numeric scale actually means, and honestly I think they only serve to enable the braindead idiots of the internet. That being said, I've disposed of our site's 5-Sock scoring system as well as removed Sock scores from most of my content. The way I see it, scores only encourage idiotic behaviour of scrolling to the end of a review, looking at a score, and then yelling about it like a goddamn moron. These are the kinda people that stare blankly at seven paragraphs of finely crafted writing like they're a dog that's just been shown a card trick. I will not cater to this idiocy, and if those kinds of people don't read my site, then fucking good. I'm the only moron we need around here, got it, numbnuts?

If you too have written for the site and would like me to remove any Sock scores you may have given anything, just shoot me an email and I'll wipe em off for ya.

Anyway, that's an update!


In Defense of Slow Updates
Socktober 24th, 2011

All these years later and here we are still adding new Guest Contributator folks to the fold. Well, I guess it only makes sense that everybody and their grandma wants to leave their own mark on The Internet's Favorite Website. I mean look at us! WE'RE AWESOME!

That said, today we welcome one Admiral Maxtreme to the fold. He joins the ranks of the SMPS.Net elite with an opinion piece about graphics and how they truly affect our perception of games. Though the piece centers primarily on the Final Fantasy series, I find many of Mr. Maxtreme's points carry far beyond that realm and make for an overall interesting read. So...ya know...go read it!

And with that, we return you to your regularly scheduled internet programming of stupid cat videos.


A Double Dose of the decoy and FatK Shuffle
Socktober 11th, 2011

Well, well, well it certainly has been a while. Busy, busy, busy, that's how us Pollys are. However, I had just enough not-busy time today to drop in and deliver an update from our ol' reliable tag team of Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus.

That's right. It's Mana-shuffling time again, and they're back with two fresh (well, kinda...I've been lazy and they've been playing Gears 3) new episodes of their Let's Play Secret of Mana Again Feature. So, while you've got nothing to do today, we've got you covered with nearly 50 brand new minutes of slow-ass RPG freshness. Hit the links below to check 'em out.

And while you're doing that, I'll be piddling around with some Guest Contributated content that's rolled in during the ol' Laze-a-thon that's been happening around Polly Land lately.

Have fun, kids!


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