Google: The Next Microsoft?
by decoy octopus

Well now that Google's released an Instant Messaging program, they've got pretty much a fucking smorgasboard of shit you can use. And you probably do because GOOGLE IS TEH GOOD right? I doubt it. And they're really positioning themselves as the new Microsoft. BUT WAIT DECOY, MICROSOFT IS TEH BAD!?!?!!11oneone. Don't listen to the bullshit that slashdot or various linux trolls feed you. Microsoft does have some good software along with the bad. And the only two programs I recommend you never use made by microsoft are Internet Explorer and Outlook. But I digress, because this is about google and not microsoft.

Now Google's first huge product was gmail. Google mail was highly sought after when it first came out since it was invite only, in fact I remember one loser from IRC going nuts because he couldn't get a invite. I got mine fairly early through Radiopillows, and I've been using it ever since. I have no real qualms with google's e-mail, besides the fact I could never blow through two gigabytes plus of space, and the fact for a long time they ignored any webbrowser that wasn't IE or Firefox.

Next up was the google toolbar, which blocked popups in IE at first, and added a useful little box to quickly let you search (SHOCK OF SHOCKS) google! Amazing! I think what blew my mind about this was they released it for Firefox, when you know, there was a FUCKING GOOGLE BOX ALREADY IN THERE. SO NOW I HAVE TWO CHOICES IF I EVER GET LOST!!!

Now came the desktop search tool, because you know, Windows built in search tool, or just plain knowing where your fucking files were wasn't good enough, BECAUSE IT NEEDED TO BE MADE BY GOOGLE. I'm starting to think google is greek or something for lazy fucker. Seriously at what point do you say to yourself, "Man I'd sure like a third party application which may or may not send my data to a server to rifle through my personal e-mails!" because if you do I want you to die.

Next, Google followed a page out of Microsoft's book and bought a pre-existing software and branded it. Whereas MS bought out a useful program, Google bought out Picasa, an image sorting program. Once again telling you you can't handle your own computer, so let the gods at google take care of it for you.

And lars, you can burn in hell. God damn Swede probably has some freaky furry porn he needs to sort or something. "Because e-mail's not made for pictures". Gee someone's never heard of an attachment have they?

Then on the fourth day, Googlor made Google Earth. A system resource hogging 3D map. Neat. I can see outdated satellite photos! :D HOORJ and to quote from Google's site: "Apple Macintosh computers are not supported at this time (but we are working on it)."
so basically unless you're running XP and a small nasa supercomputer, fuck off and die as far as google is concerned :)

Oh wow! Finally! A Messaging program! AND WITH MY FAVORITE BRAND!! :D :D :D
seriously, google talk is built upon the Jabber protocol, which no one in their right mind uses, and I can't see anyone ever giving a shit, since you can USE the network on other OS's than Windows XP, but you can't use any of the features of it. Completely negating any kind of bonus there'd be to use this shit. But at least it's spyware free for now. Not like AOL.
so what's next for google? A lot of people have thought that Google would release an operating system. Perhaps call it...oh I don't know...GoogleOS? HOAHAOHA I AM BRILLIANT. But honestly, if they did it'd be the dumbest thing ever. I mean it'd have to be BSD/Linux based, and instead of building one from scratch, I can see them buying out perhaps Mandriva (Mandrake) or someone else, and just branding it. But running GoogleOS would be pointless, because the only programs you'd get to use would be Google's, and really, what's the point of that shit when there's programs out there, either free or not, that absolutely crush google's offerings?

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