Human Reviews: Part Three
by Peaches

Wicked Stepmother
Year Released: 1992
Compatible with: Legend of Zelda, Zelda 2: Link's Adventure

The reviews so far have been pretty glowing I'll admit, so here's a human you wouldn't want anywhere near your NES.

My stepmother did seem pretty interesting at first play. She had quite a large set of... games... and, uh, well, that was pretty much it. I suppose I owe my familiarity with the Zelda series to her. If I hadn't gleaned them from her collection, I may never have played the original Zelda games, and without those, I may never have played any other Zelda games. In fact, she's the one who insisted that the long-haired person in the game art was a boy named Link, not a chick named Zelda, as I thought (funny how I'd end up being long-haired and slightly androgynous myself).

But what annoyed me about her was how she insisted on turning off the system when I was done playing Link's Adventure. You had to hold down the reset button as you turned the power off, or the saved games would be erased. As if she couldn't be bothered to tell me how to do it on my own. I don't care if you were on the 5th dungeon or whatever, I can't be bothered to go find your chain-smoking ass when I'm done with Zelda and want to play Battletoads!

Anyway, her collection of games pretty much disappeared with her sanity. I've asked my other relatives, and the response I've gotten is "She stopped taking her pills." Seriously, she was on some psychological medication, and I know first hand that, when she allegedly stopped taking it, she went nuts. I guess this is considered a budget re-release, and you definately get what you pay for.


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