Cute n' Cuddly Assassins Inc.
January 30th, 2008

Today marks a gaming/website first for me. It's the first time I've ever bought a game, completed EVERYTHING it had to offer, and managed to even review it in the span of about 9 hours. I'm not even kidding! People that bitch that games are too short these days, obviously have never played Gunslinger Girl vol. 1 on the PS2. My first import review! Of a game that's four years old! Cutting off sentences in the middle! To make new ones!


-Pollyamati


You Guys Love Lists. I KNOW THIS!
January 24th, 2008

Since that Top 25 thingy we had here a few months ago was so popular and generated a lot of positive feedback and participation, I figure it's about time we REDUX the other one. The opposite end of the spectrum.

The SMPS Top 10 Worst Games of All-Time


Here we go again! MOAR LISTS! The internet loves lists and so should you, God dammit! So, let's do the good thing and put meaningless numbers by our most hated things like the good sheeple we are!

Rules for this one are same as the last time. Anyone wanting to contribute can. It's easy as pie, but for the sake of taking up frontpage space and making it look like I'm actually updating with something substantial, let's go over the guidelines!

1.) Write up a list of games that are the worst you've ever played. They don't even all necessarily have to be the worst games you've played as in "WOW THIS IS SUPER SHITTY," crushing disappointments are also very acceptable. Waited two years for that sequel only for it to suck shit? Throw it on there! And please, honestly write only about games you've played. I don't want a list of ETs, Big Rigs, and Daikatanas unless you've actually honestly played them.

Now, take that list and shove it up your ass and write about each game. Why is it bad? Why did it disappoint you? I'm not looking for novels here, but give us some clear ideas on why you hate this game. It's your soapbox! Be angry, be funny, whatever you wanna do. Just make it clear.

2.) Your list needs to be in .txt or .doc format. DO NOT include the images within a .doc file should you use one.

3.) I'd like one screenshot image per game. I'm not too picky about dimensions, but if one is too big I will have to resize or replace the image depending on if it doesn't fit or looks like poop when resized or not.

PLEASE use the following format for screenshot file names:

[yourname][number].[jpg/gif/png/whatever]

So, if I'm using a screenshot for my number 6 game, then my screenshot would be named polly6.jpg or whatever.

Those are the only guidelines I need followed. You can handle your list any way you wish. The creative control is 100% in your hands, I'll just be formatting it to the site's style.

So, once you finish all that up, .rar or .zip the document and images up, attatch to an email and direct the flow of your intertoobz to:

socksmakepeoplesexy.mailbag@gmail.com
or
polly@socksmakepeoplesexy.net

(or both, I don't really care so long as I get it)

I'll get back to you shortly (1-3 days depending on how busy I am) after I receive your submission and let you know what's up. If for some reason I DON'T get back with you, then re-send to both addresses just to make sure. I don't want anybody being left out if the intertoobs are somehow clogged.

Easy, peasy, Japaneasy, rite guy?

The current deadline for submissions on this project right now stands at March 28th. More than a generous amount of time and it's only ten games this time around so it shouldn't take too long, yeah?

If you did a Top 10 article last time and don't wish to change anything, then please email me and let me know so. If you're re-doing it, just send it in like usual and I'll replace the old one. If I don't get a replacement, I'll re-upload your previous article for the new format.

Now....GIVE ME YOUR HATRED!


-PollyS.Hate


Your Official Project Inthri 3 Launch Station
January 18th, 2008

Today's update is gonna be a little different. Today, I'm plugging a game you should all play that a friend of mine made and has been working on for the last something like six months. Project Inthri 3 is likely the best flash shooter you'll ever play, so go give the review a look and play the game. You won't be sorry.


-Pollyplug


Nana
January 7th, 2008

It's the start of a new year and you know what that means! Not a whole lot of content for this site. Well, from me, at least. But it's not all bad news!

Pat just put the finishin' touches on another one of his bloody Final Fantasy Articles. Now, would you kindly go and read it? It's a monster of an article don't worry. We're gonna get you through this. So, go give that a look.

Top 10 Games Article information next time I update.

End update!


-Pollyshrugged




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