31 Days, 31 Updates: Day IT'S FUCKING OVER!!!
January 31st, 2010

And here we are, ladies and gentlemen. The end. What started as a crazy off-the-cuff insane idea to bring back my own motivation has blossomed into a full-blown explosion of content, and the dust now settles here.

So, here it is. The one 98% of you have probably been waiting for. I'm not even kidding this time...

Patmouth has summoned up all he has to make it through this, and I think his PS2 may have become a casualty in doing so, but here it is...

And while you're at it, why not check out this Final Fantasy Inspired Comic by Rhete, which is a parody of a comic by Mr. kc Green.

I watched the man almost come apart trying to play through and put this one together, so now we can all enjoy the fruits of his insanity. Even I get to read it for the first time! God, I'm glad I make him edit these damn things now!

And, of course, we can't forget about Rhete. For the last eleven days, he's struggled through some adventures of his own, and though they're 120 bits less, that doesn't make them any less important. So, here's Part 12 of Rhete's Let's Play Mega Man Rocks videroos for you to enjoy as well. This is it. The endgame. Rhete or Wily? The only way to know is to watch and find out!

Poor Rhete. Check out that 2nd billing. Poor guy...

And with that, it's finally fucking over. THAT'S how you start a fucking new year.

Before I go, I just want to say that doing this has been fucking insane. When I originally concocted this idea in late October/early November, I had all intentions of just doing all 31 updates myself. Work and the holidays had their say in those plans though, and I had to turn to some friends to help me out to try and make this happen. To say they came through for me would be an understatement of their effort and dedication to helping out. The fact that they spent their own valuable time writing and contributing to my little piss-ant, nobody, obscure website just so I could have 31 straight days of updates means a lot to me. You can laugh at that, but it does. When I look back now, I'm glad work and the holidays kept me from doing this whole thing myself. It ended up being so much more fun and entertaining with the help of friends shouldering the load too. You guys know who you are (and everyone else does too, since your names are on every update) and you fucking rock. If I knew you in real life I'd buy you a Moon Pie and a Yoo-Hoo. It's the best fucking snack combo ever. Thanks.

In the meantime, I have a new computer to build, a new OS to move into, and some fucking new games to play that have been sitting beside my PS3 and in my Steam queue for quite some time. I'm sure nobody'll mind if there are no updates or if e-mail replies aren't answered quite as quickly for a few weeks.

I hope you've found something to enjoy this month! We'll be back (probably) sometime next month!

Thanks for tuning in!


-Pollycanfinallyrestnow


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Turdy
January 30th, 2010

The end is now in sight, but not quite yet. There's still juuuuuuuust a bit more to go on this crazy shindig before I can finally get some rest, so without further delay, let's just get to today's update, shall we?

Up first, it's the RETURN OF THE MAGNIICENT ED!!! Wii all love Ed, don't wii? No, of course we don't! God, what the hell were you thinking? What we do love is the fact that he's got a fresh New Super Mario Bros. Wii review for us to read, so I'm thinking we should head on over there and have a look.

Our 31 Days, 31 Updates marathon isn't the only thing about to wind down. Rhete's nearing the end of his long journey too, but it's not over quite yet, because there's just a bit more Wily to go. Wily 3 is up today, and who knows what the Bad Doctor has up his sleeve?

And that be it for this fine Saturday. The month's been long, but it's been a fun ride. So, I hope you'll drop by tomorrow, because we'll have something pretty big for you to have a look at.

'Till then!


-Pollycanitfinallybeover


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Nine
January 29th, 2010

...And we're JUUUUUST about out of steam here in our 31 Days, 31 Updates marathon of new shit. As usual, it's another explosive Friday and you'd better appreciate it, because I WORKED ON IT FOR FOUR YEARS IN MS PAINT!

Up first is the last of the Mai-Otome trilogy reviews with a write-up of the prequel OVA, Mai-Otome 0~S.ifr~. Yeah, that's just about one of the dumbest fuck names for a show I've ever seen. Even for Japan, this one might be a stretch. I've seen encrypted filenames that made more sense.

And next today, good ol' FreezingInferno wraps up his own little miniature content-fest during this month of updates with his final submission, a review for the NES classic StarTropics. It's like Zelda with a yo-yo and a lot of strange and bizarre dialog.

And, of course, Rhete keeps on trucking and digging further and further into Wily's domain in the tenth installment of his Let's Play Mega Man Rocks videroos. Today he tackles Wily 2 and I'm honestly hoping for as many lollers today as I got yesterday.

After today, we're cruising into the weekend, which will put a cap on this whole thing. What do we have in store? Anything big? Like maybe something people keep bothering me about?

Nah, couldn't be.


-Pollypostedherlastsubmissionofthemonth


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Hate
January 28th, 2010

OH GOD THANK YOU! IT'S ALMOST OVER A HAH AH HAHAH HAHAH HAHAHAH NO I HAVEN'T GONE INSANE YET!

...And it's a good thing I haven't, or else I wouldn't have had the good sense in me to upload tonight's Neo-Geo review of Shock Troopers: 2nd Squad. And I certainly know you couldn't live the rest of your lives without that, am I right?

And God forbid that I abandoned poor Rhete. Hell, it's unlikely the ninth installment of his Let's Play Mega Man Rocks videroos would ever see the light of day, and I know we can't be having that. But, because I'm sane, you'll now know how he fares in Wily Stage 1. Clap, Clap, Clap for you!

If you're looking for a little something more today, Traitor Magnus updated with a new review of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves on his blawg.

Dass all for today!


-Pollysane


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Seven
January 27th, 2010

Dear Day Twenty-Seven,

Hey, Day Twenty-Seven! How are you? I'm doing okay, I guess. Feeling a bit bleh today, but that's why I'm already asleep and having Rhete upload tonight's updates for me.

Oh! Speaking of updates, guess what I got for you today! Well, first I found that review of Mai-Otome Zwei you've been looking all over for. Don't worry about paying me back. That's what friends are for, yeah?

Also, I happened to run into my old pal FreezingInferno today. Yeah, he's just playing videogames like always. Apparently he got hooked while playing Viewtiful Joe on GameCube and didn't leave the house for a few days. That silly Frezno. I tell ya what.

Finally, you know that project Rhete's been working on? No, not that game that's taken him almost two years to produce. Those Let's Play videroos he's been doing. I heard that he's got the 8th installment out today and he's fighting with Police Man. Scary stuff. Hope he makes it through okay.

Well, Day Twenty-Seven, it's about time for me to wrap it up, I guess. Just writing and letting you know how things are going. I'll talk to you later!


Your Best Pal,
-PollyZwei


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Six
January 26th, 2010

Look, I'm gonna be honest folks, trying to write these intros everyday is a bit tiring. I'm kinda all out of intro juice it would seem. So, you'll forgive me if the next few days aren't all that exciting. Wait....people don't read this shit anyway! EUREKA!

It's about time we got back to the runnin' and gunnin' and today's review of Shock Troopers for the Neo-Geo should have all the action you need.

And if that's not enough, then of course Rhete has another in his long line of Mega Man Rocks Let's Play videroos. Today it's the "totally not from Mega Man 1 Robot Master Fire Man.

Consider yourself one of the good guys.


-Pollyshock


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Five
January 25th, 2010

Welp, here we are. The fucking home-stretch. Counting today, there are only seven more updates left in this extravaganza. And to think, when I started this thing it seemed almost unrealistic, but here we are and all the final week's content is ready to go!

I figured it'd be awesome today if we started things off with some Japanese Cartoons! OH POLLY YOU BITCH, YOU SAID THAT SHIT WAS OVER! No, I didn't, silly. I said Japanese Cartoon Weekends are over. Teeheehee! Today, I present to you the first of three installments of Mai-Otome reviews. After that fucking Kiddy Grade debacle, I certainly hope we're in for something a bit better.

Guess who's back, everybody! That's right! FreezingInferno's back this week and he's got a few more reviews left in him. Today he's yappin' and yappin' and yappin' about Retro Game Challenge for DS. He's gonna take you back to the past. To play some retro games that kick ass. He'd rather haaaave a Wiener Week, I'm starting to think that he's some kinda freeeeak. Okay, okay, no more Frezno wiener jokes, I promise.

And finally, Rhete's returns again today with the sixth installment of his Let's Play Mega Man Rocks series. Today he'll be squaring off against Anchor Man, who'll be reporting live from the scene.

No, seriously, no more talk about Frezno and wieners. Wiener jokes are over. No more jokes pertaining to FreezingInferno or his stance on wieners. Whatever his stance on wieners may be, you can bet that you won't be reading anymore about Frezno and wieners on this site ever again.


-PollyOtome


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Four
January 24th, 2010

Well, it's Sunday. What're ya gonna do, yeah? Well, me? I'm gonna update this here site thing-a-majig and go play some Left 4 Dead or somethin'. In the meantime, you're gonna read this here thing-a-majig.

Up first, a good ol' friend of Teh Polly drops in and delivers an appropriately-themed piece given my interests lately. Traitor Magnus gives us a nice in-depth article taking a look at Left 4 Dead vs Left 4 Dead 2. Guaranteed to ensnare you like a Smoker. More on Mr. Magnuts at the end of this post. Yes that was on purpose.

And if that's not enough to sate your appetite for content today, then there's always Rhete's continuing series of Let's Play videroos through Mega Man Rocks. Today he faces the dreaded Repo Man. This one is guaranteed to be full of plenty of lollers, folks.

Lastly today, I wanted to take a moment and plug Traitor Magnus' new gaming blog "corrupted save". There you'll find not only today's Left 4 Dead article, but an in-depth write-up of the recently released Dragon Age Origins. So, head on over and give it a read and a bookmark.

WE UP OUT!


-Pollyisrunningoutofintrosteam


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty-Three
January 23rd, 2010

To hell with catchy intros today, let's just get to the content!

Hooray for you! It's the last Japanese Cartoon Weekend of the month. THANK GOD, RIGHT? No more Saturday or Sunday Japanese Cartoon reviews after today! HOORAY! And I can't think of a better way to send off Japanese Cartoon Weekends than having a look at GONZO's 2002-2003 epic pile of awesome known as Kiddy Grade. Man, I really wouldn't wanna be the person that had to try and market that title to retailers and convince them that Japanese Cartoons really aren't about naked little girls. You go, GONZO!

And, of course, we've got the fourth THRILLING INSTALLMENT of Rhete's Let's Play Mega Man Rocks videroos. The ever-handy Repair Man is up on the chopping block today and he's GONNA FIX THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have A SUPER AWESOME BORING WEEKEND TO LOOK FORWARD TO!


-Pollyisnowbuyingcandidates


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Deuce Deuce In The Trunk Of My Car
January 22nd, 2010

I've got the microwave and the VCR too, so no worries. I've also got updates for you today, so isn't that great? Ahhh, you crazy fuckin' Friday. Let's get started!

Hope you guys aren't sick of FreezingInferno yet, because he's back up AAAAALLLLLL in your grill today with a little article about how innovation in videroogames works. And no, wieners are not a part of game innovation, even though he argued with me for four straight hours about it. Someday, Frezzie, someday.

And Rhete keeps on truckin' along with the third installment of his Mega Man Rocks fangame Let's Play. Today he does his best Agent 47 impression and matches wits and blasters with HIT MAN.

And to cap off the day, we finally reach the end of those stupid handheld plug 'n play shits when I take a look at perhaps the most interesting of the devices. Don't worry, I'll be back to more normal stuff next week. Maybe even that fabled night light review!

In other non-site releated news, today was a good day. Not only was Hidamari Sketch x365 officially announced as licensed, but I have even more fantastic news for gaming at large...

PHANTASY STAR UNIVERSE IS DEAD!

Believe me when I say this, it couldn't have happened to a better game. Blah, blah, 360 version still alive, blah, blah, it's all just a ploy to grab as many more subscriptions as they can before they sink those too. Appropriate celebration to follow at a somewhat later date.


-Pollythinksitshouldabeenwaysooner


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Blackjack
January 21st, 2010

I WIN!

Boy are you ever lucky today, because we've got even more stuff by my homeboy FreezingInferno for you to read. For some reason or another he sent me a review of some game about wieners or something. Heehee...wieners. We had a little talk and decided that probably wasn't the best game to review, so a couple hours later he sent me a review for the NES game WURM. I love ya, Frezpot, but WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?

And Funkmaster Rhete returns today with the second installment of his Mega Man Rocks fangame Let's Play. Today he crosses paths with the ever deadly and dreaded DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR MAAAAAAAAAAAAN. Does Rhete have what it takes to put a.....STOP TO THIS ROBOT MASTER? GAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM TOO FUNNY YOU LAFF NOW HAHAHAHA!

Okay, we're done for the day. On another note, I've really been craving Cadbury Eggs lately. I'm glad Easter is only a couple months away.


-Pollydoor


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twenty
January 20th, 2010

Jesus H. Christofferson, we're cruising into the twentieth god damn day! I'm still amazed at how well this has worked out! But enough self-congratulations, it's time for content!

Our good friend FreezingInferno gets things started off today by expanding our Articles section just a little bit. Crazy how neglected that portion of the site goes until major events...I will have to do something about that...maybe... Anyway, today ol' Frezpot's asking all the important questions about the so-called black sheep of gaming. Why do we shun them? Should we? Frezzledoo's got all the answers! I hope!

Up next, Rhete makes his SMPS.Net return AND his worldwide Let's Play debut right here today. He's playing some newfangle-dangled Mega Man fangame named Mega Man Rocks. Note that this isn't a ROM hack and I find its selection of Robot Masters to be absolutely fantastic! He'll LP'ing this game for the rest of this event, so stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2!

And lastly today, ol Pollyface has a look at another one of them there plug n' play retro game devices. Boy, I know you're just itchin' to get right on over there, so I won't keep you here any longer with idle chatter.

And that does it for day, the twentieth. OH GOD ONLY ELEVEN MORE DAYS HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!


-Pollybaaaaaaaaa


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Nineteen
January 19th, 2010

Just sittin' here, listening to some Mars Volta tunes (De-loused... if you must know), gettin' ready to throw up today's SMPS.Net's updates. Tha fuck are you doin'?

Yeah, you're not doing anything. You don't have a life. My evidence? You're reading this site at 12:00 AM EST looking for updates. Fucking loser. So, you might as well hang out with RaiRaiRai for a few minutes and have a look at his Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay review for PC. Everybody loves Vin Diesel! Come on, how awesome do you have to be to have a last name like DIESEL!

Secondly today, sometimes I get some wacky stuff in my inbox that I'm not quite sure what to make of at first, but I have to share it. We had a free slot for something quick and easy to go up today, so I figured this weird little random piece by The Hutch might be a decent way to spend a couple minutes. Hey, it's better than me reviewing a fucking night light, isn't it?

Alright, now scram and cry yourself to sleep again tonight like you do every night when these updates are over, because they're the only thing that give your pointless lives meaning for a few minutes every day.


-PollyDIESEL


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day A-Team
January 18th, 2010

Wheeee, time to get back to the grind of the ol' work week, and that means that the ol SMPS.Net has to keep you from going postal in the meantime. Luckily we got a couple things to keep them sucka ass sucka Mondays in check.

First up, a piece by your hero and mine, FreezingInferno. He loves him some bits, especially of the 8 and 16 varieties, so his fancy pants review of Mega Man 9 should be absolutely no surprise. Also, FreezingInferno has in fact made out with Splash Woman. I was at that party and can confirm this.

And today, something a little different. Ya know, when I originally had this 31 Days, 31 Updates idea, I was originally gonna do really stupid shit like review my night light and awesome purple fluffy steering wheel cover. The better side of my brain-thinker-thing prevailed, though and I actually did some legitimate updates instead. That's not to say that the three updates I'll be doing this week aren't a bit off the beaten path though. So, why not have a look at what I thought about Jakks TV Games: Namco game device thingo for something a tad different. Yep, I got three of 'em, and I'm gonna make you read all about 'em! SUCKA ASS SUCKAS!

NOW WHERE MY BULLETS AT?


-PollyT


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Seventeen
January 17th, 2010

HEY, EVERYBODY! LET'S PRETEND IT'S NOT SUNDAY!

...

FUCK, IT AIN'T WORKING!

Ah well, onto the ol' updateroo, I suppose.

You guys like the PSP right? Of course you do! Everybody loves the PSP! It's like a nut you can play with outside, after all! And what will I be putting into my coconut that I can play with outside? Hmmm..Hmmm.... Oh! That's right! I did just recently go on a binge of playing through Mega Man: Powered-Up and then I wrote a review for it too! Silly me, how could I have forgotten.

And it wouldn't be a Sunday without a comic, would it? Well, you can thank your lucky stars it's not one of those godawful Pat & Polly catastrophes! Great news, indeed! However Ether went and made one of those godawful Polly & Ether catastrophes! And it's all your's for the reading!

HOW ABOUT THAT FUCKIN' SUNDAY?


-Pollypoweredup


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Sixteen
January 16th, 2010

Holy shit, we are now officially halfway through this 31 Days, 31 Updates madness! How quickly time flies when you have so much shit to update with! And, don't worry, I didn't murder my eye doctor. It was a strangely pleasant visit this time, aside from all the blurriness...oye...

So, what have we got today? Well, I know how much you love them there , so never being one to dissappoint her fans, The Polly delivers! How about a blood-soaked and disturbingly naughty review of Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan? It's got so much blood, innuendo, and explosive diarrhea that it should be enough to keep you busy on this fine Saturday we're all about to enjoy.

And our good pal D-Mac, a.k.a. "Awesome Voice Dood" did a little something Japanese Cartoon-related too! Check out his re-dub of the opening scene of Umineko no Naku Koro ni for some lime Kool-Aid and lots of the funnies! Many funnies to be had! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! YOU LAFF NOW!

Aaaaand, that'll do it for the day!

Oh, what the hell, I'm bored. Let's see what happens!


-Pollypirupirupipirupi


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Fifteen
January 15th, 2010

Wooo! Cruising into another weekend where I'll hopefully get in some of that Left 4 Dead time I've been sorely lacking over the last couple of weeks. But first, we've got a nice Friday update for your bitch asses!

Up first, we've got some new content from a dood we haven't seen for in a while, Mr. Vanor Orion. He's keeping that Nintendo Wii section of the site alive with a review for The Conduit. If I knew anything about the game (beyond reading the review) I'd write a catchier intro for it, but I gots nothin! So....go read it! IT'S THE CONDUIT, MAN!

Secondly today, we've got another piece from our newest content-production factory, FreezingInferno. The ol' Frezpot has taken to space in his little Vic Viper to combat the Bacterians and returned safely with a review of the SNES version of Gradius III. Grab a few Speed-Ups and head on over there. Two should be enough.

And another fine day of content is over, but we'll have some more stuff for you tomorrow to gawp at.

I FUCKING HATE EYE DOCTORS! I HATE YOU ALL! OH GOD I WANT TODAY TO BE OVER NOW!


-Pollyhateseyedoctors


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Fourteen
January 14th, 2010

Yep, we're still truckin' along. We ain't even close to being out of steam yet, so by now you should already be used to us bein' all up in your grill like this.

Today, we welcome aboard a brand-new contributator-type person, sonicmega. What could his debut here today have in store for you? Well, how about a legendary review of the PlayStation classic, Mega Man Legends? That's how you get things started off with a bang, right?

Yep, that's all we got today!


-PollyManLegends


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Turdteen
January 13th, 2010

Can I ever resist the poop joke? Absolutely not! But the poopy is not what we have for you today, no siree!

Up first, we have a little something from a contributator you're gonna be seeing a whole hell of a lot over the course of the next few weeks, The Internet's FreezingInferno™. Today he's provided us with a videroo review/Let's Play of Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular for NES! So, if you got a thing for that gin 'n juice, now would be the time to clizzick that there lizzink and find out what's the dizzle.

Secondly today, Vicraf sent in a review waaaay early back in December and now it's finally making its way to the SMPS-waves. He's giving us a look at Metal Gear Solid: Ghost Babel on GameBoy Color. Sneak on over there and find out what that's all about. Your Big Boss rating depends on it.

And with that, we're out for the day. Turdles!


-Pollymadeapoopjoke


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Twelfth
January 12th, 2010

Because I love all those consanants in a row...

ARE YOU READY FOR MORE PHANTASY FUCK STAR? I know I sure am, so it's a good thing that good ol' Rhete has gone and prepared us a full-blown Phantasy Star Zero DS Review today! We've already seen Phantasy Star shrunk down once with some mixed results, but perhaps Sega's DS outing can fare a little better.

And while I'm here, someone go make a decent Smash TV Left 4 Dead map, alright? Big rooms, multiple paths to the boss, fair enemy progression. Ya know, all the stuff that'd make a decent map!


-PollyStarZero


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Eleven
January 11th, 2010

Welp, today we eek just past the 1/3 mark of this 31 Days, 31 Updates project. Still a long damn ways to go, still so much content to put up, and SO MUCH AUGLHGLHGLHGLHGLHGLH!

Today is the last you're gonna hear from me for a while. I figured eleven days of me in a row might be enough, so after today, I'm turning the mic over to Guest Contributations until the weekend. So, if you've sent stuff to me in the last few weeks, it may pop up this week! Or not! LOL SCHEDULING! If not, just stay tuned the rest of the month.

That being said, the first two days of this week, we're gonna take you all down to Phantasy Star land. I'll let you decide whether that's a good or bad thing, as I give you a look at the first Phantasy Star Portable on PSP. Try not to get too excited. I know everyone loves Phantasy Star Universe! WOOOO!

Rhete will be by tomorrow with your final dose of Phantasy Star-themed content for the month.


-PollyStarPortable


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Ten
January 10th, 2010

Ohhhh boy, another Sunday. I sure do hate me some Sundays, but that won't stop this 31 Days, 31 Updates train! We still got a little bit of stuff to help ease the boredom today, so let's get started!

Up first, I take a magical, hippie-like adventure with PS3 review for the PSN downloadable, Flower. Only pretty, pretty things can come from this, believe you me!

And since it's a Sunday, there's no reason we can't have a brand-new Pat & Polly Adventure right? Wow, I think I just heard the entire internet sigh in disgust...

That's all we got for today, but there's no need to fear! We'll be right back here again tomorrow with more stuff for you to gaze upon with eyeballs!


-Pollypretty


31 Days, 31 Updates: Daylien Nine
January 9th, 2010

I know what you're thinkin'. You're sittin' there, sippin' on some cocoa in front of the heater, wrapped up in a nice snuggly blanket thinkin', "Wow, this 31 Days, 31 Updates thing is pretty damn neat!" But you're probably also thinking, "...but it's missing just one thing..."

Well, have I got just the thing for you. Sit back and brace yourself for the latest installment of our gargantuan Final Fa--

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOPE!

How about some Japanese Cartoons instead? I know that's what you came here for! And even if you didn't, that's what you're gonna get. A whole fart load of em, to be precise, as today I'm forcing my top ten list of the best Japanese Cartoons from 2000-2009 down your throats to enjoy. There's also ten Honorable Mention titles, making it 20 stupid ass cartoons you'll have to read about if you want anything from this site today!

Enjoy!

Pat sends his love.

GAHAHAHAHAHA!


-Pollygotyougood


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day I Ated It
January 8th, 2010

Hooray, we've finally reached the en---oh, wait, I still got fuckin' 23 more days of this to do. Oh dear lord... So much for that feeling of relief that sets in once one of those big "week" events is over. Le sigh...

Polly 'n Ed 'n SnS Present (mini) NES Week: Day FINAL

Alright, here's to hoping that the final day of our little mini-NES Week doesn't disappoint! We got a lot of fine stuff to round out the week's festivities, so get comfy!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU WANNA SHOOT DOWN INTO DEM TOOBZ

Despite the fact that he disappointed me greatly by not DOING A FUCKING BARREL ROLL IN HIS CAPTAIN SKYHAWK VIDEO, Ed rounds out his week of content with not one, but TWO new things for you to gaze at today.

First, he puts the cap on his week-long series of Let's Play short takes with a performance on the NES version of Smash TV. BIG MONEY! BIG PRIZES! YOU'LL LOVE IT! And he really did buy that game for a dollar.

Next, he takes to the skies once again this week and gives us a look at the little-known NES flight sim, Ultimate Air Combat. Not to be conufused with Ultimate Air Kombat, of course. NOT A REAL FLIGHT SIM! NOT A REAL FLIGHT SIM! NOT A REAL FLIGHT SIM!

And finally today, the part many of you have been waiting for...

This is it. The epic coclusion! Today's final installment covers the cream of the crop when it comes to NES games, as we find out what twenty games the folks over at SnS simply can't live without. The Grand Champion has been crowned and now you can go find out which one it is. And I will too, since the final page of the damn list was hidden from me the whole time.

And with that our Mini-NES Week comes to a close, but the month of content is only getting started. We still got three weeks of updating to do, so stay tuned.


-PollyNESminiFINAL


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Seven
January 7th, 2010

For extra special fun today, this post has been encoded with a hidden subliminal message that will take effect once this post is completely readerized. Once the effects kick in (though I'm not telling you when) you'll no doubt be screaming "DAMN YOU, POLLYYYYYYY" at the top of your lungs for days. And I will be laffy-laff-laff-laffin'! But why not move onto the more important business of the day -- dat game stuff!

Polly 'n Ed 'n SnS Present (mini) NES Week: Day Four

It is not a good week for sun-dried tomatoes.

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU WANNA DRIVE A CA--OH COME ON THIS SHIT'S JUST GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW

Our next bit 'o content today is by Captain Edhawk and he's taking a look at one of my personal favorite NES games today, with a fun little Let's Play short take of Captain Skyhawk. Transistor, transistor, transistor, transistor, transistor. 5129. I hope he does a barrel roll!

And of course, we've still got this [tree_light_sunshine.732] to deal with too, so CUE THE BIG LINK...

Yesterday's installment involved some thrown punches and some bruised egos, but today's installment covering games ranking from #55-#21 isn't playing nice anymore and there will be casualties. Or, ya know, it's all just based on points or something. I dunno how this shit works!

So, with that said.

Execute.

Enjoy.

Happy, Machine!


-PollyNESmini4


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Sex
January 6th, 2010

Woooo! I have returned and am fully-rested for another day full of daily updateyness, so let's kick reason to the curb and let this update be the update that shall pierce the heavens... or at least provide you with a nice 20-minute distraction, yeah?

Polly 'n Ed 'n SnS Present (mini) NES Week: Day Three

More of that 8-bit drug that we love so much is hitting your locally-owned interbutts today, so please roll up your sleeves.

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU THINK DOODS PUNCHING BULLETS IS THE SHIT

Your second dose today comes care of Ed, Inc. and he's about to go down on you like you wouldn't believe! Today, he dawns the guise of a Navy Seaman and takes us on a tour of of embattled waters, with a videroo Let's Play for Silent Service. (This video may still be marked as Private by its owner. If it is, please check back later.) And if any of you out there are snickering at how this intro was written up, then shame on you. I'll have you know our Ed is fine, pure, upstanding gentleman and he wouldn't go down on just anybody unless the price was right. Shame. On. You! I got yer back, Ed. :)

And don't think I've forgotten about...

We're making headway in this long list of games and the competition is starting to get pretty fierce with the choices picked by more than one person making their debut showings toward the end. Today's installment covers games ranked #90-#56. From here on, it's every game for itself as they jock for top position.

Lastly today, though not NES-related, I thought I'd throw a shout-out to the folks over at Gamepad Dojo. I've been readerizing their stuff over the past few days and they've mentioned reading this site to me too, so here's a plug. Go read stuff!

And I'm out for the day. Now I have to go find my iPhone charger. WHERE DID YOU GO ALGLHGLGHLGHLGLH!


-PollyNESmini3


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Five
January 5th, 2010

Polly 'n Ed 'n SnS Present (mini) NES Week: Day Two

Ahh, here we are. Day, the second. Let's not waste any time on pointless intros today, shall we? I didn't sleep nearly enough last night and it was my first day back to work since last month, so let's just get this started!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net presents...

ANOTHER NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU WANNA DRIVE AROUND IN A CUTE LITTLE CAR BUT NOT BE BOTHERED BY THAT FUCKING CAT™

Up next, NES brother-in-arms, Ed returns today with another installment of his week-long series of videroos with a look at the squad-based Rescue: The Embassy Mission. Spotlight dodging and repelling down the side of a building has never been so much fun! It's like an 8-bit Rainbow Six! :D

Annnnd, finally today...

Today's installment of DA LIST covers games ranking #125-91. The competition's only beginning to heat up, so be sure to give that a look-see while you're at it too.

And now, time for some much-needed sleep. Night fuckmos! See ya tomorrow!

Same Sock Time! Same Sock Channel!


-PollyNESmini2


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Four
January 4th, 2010

Alright, the new year starting on a weekend may have made this whole idea seem a little lackluster but, as promised, today we dive head first into what an insane update-fest should be. With the NES being my favorite console of all-time (OF ALL-TIME!), why not get things truly started with a week full of NES-related content?

Polly 'n Ed 'n SnS Present (mini) NES Week: Day One

For the next five days, phasers are set to 8-bit once again and we're goin' all NES all the time! So, without further delay, let's get this shit started!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF THE WORLD IN YOUR CUTE LITTLE CAR

On an interesting note, when choosing the games to review this week, I blinded myself and randomly picked games from my shelf. You'll notice an odd pattern in how some of that blind-choosing came out.

And of course, SMPS.Net's good friend Ed is giving us a hand this week and he'll be filling your visual and audio holes with pretty color video goodness. Mr. Ed is taking us on a super fun, assassin-filled guided tour of The Mafat Conspiracy today! So, get your sniper scopes out and get to checkin' them windows, son. You never know what you're gonna find.

Lastly, we did this during SNES Week last year and in the spirit of things we're doing it for the NES now. Over at the Sliders 'n Socks Forum, we had the users create lists of their favorite NES games. Rhete went absolutely mad compiling these lists and doing all the math behind them to help create...

Holy shit, 158? REALLY? Today is just the tip of the iceberg as we see what games placed #158-#126. Tune in throughout the rest of the week to find out why SnS's taste in games is much better than yours. Or, just to see where your favorite games placed...whatever's clever.

Also, a big thanks to Rhete who managed to compile, calculate, and edit the entire list in only TWO FUCKING DAYS! Dude deserves a fucking medal, because there's no way this could have been done without him, so everyone give him a nice big round of internet applause.

And with that, we're out for the day, but be sure to tune in tomorrow!


-PollyNESmini1


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Three
January 3rd, 2010

Feelin' kinda bummy today? Well, maybe the SMPS 31 Days, 31 Updates event has just the cure for those crummy Sunday Blues.

First off, we're gonna take a trip to outer space.... Actually, hold that thought. We're not going to be taking any kinda trips to outer space, because some damn dirty FBI agents made off with our fucking spaceship. If this is a situation you find yourself relating to, then perhaps this GameCube review of Alien Hominid will be just the thing for you! And if not...well I hear they have pills for that. Iunno.

And just because you've been especially good the last couple days, have yourself a brand-spankin' new Adventures of Pat & Polly Comic to chase down all that FBI blasting goodery!

While I'm here, I'll address a bit of a situation that's come up. Turns out, a lot of my fine readers seem pretty down with this whole updating the entire month thing and have expressed interest in contributing. I honestly didn't see that coming. Know first that I appreciate you wanting to help, and you may continue contributing to the site like you always have. However, given the size of this event, it may not be possible for me to get all contributions received edited and up on the site this month. I've been planning and writing for this event since last November and I personally asked a few select contributors to help fill the month up when my schedule got too chaotic to handle it all alone. Their submissions, however many they send, take priority in the editing process. This doesn't mean anything sent this month won't make it to the site, but there's a chance it might not. Again, I appreciate readers wanting to help out, so don't take it personally if something you send me slips into February. We cool, then? Alright.

Until tomorrow, when this thing gets kicked into high gear for a bit!


-Pollyhominid


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day Two
January 2nd, 2010

Welcome back! We're only just getting started on this 31 Days, 31 Updates thing, so no need to go patting ourselves on the back just yet.

This weekend I'm doing something a little special. Some of you long-time readers may remember the ill-fated comic that ran on this site in 2007-2008 entitled The Adventures of Pat & Polly. It died a slow and uninspired death and disappeared from the site early last year. Since that time, I've actually received a lot of requests to bring it back. I was honestly dumbfounded because the comic was dumb as shit, but now you can never let it be said that I don't listen.

Today, The Adventures of Pat & Polly Returns with its own website! Not only are all the old and stupid comics back (and as stupid as you remember them!), but I've gone through the entire archive and written up a bit of (stupid) commentary on each of the existing 33 or so comics so you got a little something new to look at, even if you've already seen 'em all. There's likely some typos in the commentaries because I haven't had a chance to re-read them, but they'll get fixed in the future. Maybe... As a bonus, this month might even see the addition of a couple NEW Pat & Polly adventures. Guess you'll just have to stay tuned. All two of you that kept asking for it to come back!

Alright, sorry to those who were expecting something a little bigger. Don't worry though, I'll have a little more for the gamey types tomorrow and Monday is when things really pick up around here, trust me. This thing just had to start on a weekend, didn't it?


-PollynPat


31 Days, 31 Updates: Day One
January 1st, 2010

Happy Fuckin' New Year, my beloved [REDACTED]s! Welcome to 2010!

Well, hey, whaddya know? We all made it! How about that? 2010! Holy shit! The circlenine is now just another page in our history. It's time to start another brand-spankin' new year with that annoyingly pink and white website that curses a lot and has those Final Fantasy articles! FINAL FANTASY ARTICLES! After the record-setting year that was the circlenine, how could 2010 possibly top it? Well, to be honest, I'm not sure we will, but there ain't nothin' wrong with tryin'! I'll tell you something we didn't do last year...

How about starting the year with an entire month's worth of daily updates? Sound crazy enough for you? Well, we're sure as hell gonna try and pull it off. 31 days, 31 updates. That's the plan. We're going to try and post at least one new piece of content (regardless of size/subject matter) each day throughout the month of January. Myself, along with the help of some fellow contributator-type people, are gonna try and make this happen. Can it be done? Well, we're sure as hell gonna try.

So, why don't we blast on into the new year with some explosions, futt-bugly aliens, and some more explosions? From the previous sentence you've probably already deduced where I'm going with this, so a PlayStation 2 review of Contra: Shattered Soldier may not be all that surprising, but I can think of worse ways to start a new year. None of them have a huge turtle-like boss with a face for an ass, now do they? So what the fuck use are they then?

The next two days of updates are going to be a little different and probably a little disappointing for some, but I'm sure LadyRayna may approve.

Alright, only 30 more to go....God, what'd I get us into, folks?


-Polly2010




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