All This Sundayness Is Sunday
April 25th, 2010

Oh hey, looks like we got a little something to help ease that boring Sunday along! Just a quickie update today!

Again, Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus are back to make you watch while they play videroogames with the nineteenth installment of their tag-team Let's Play of Secret of Mana. All this mananess is mana!

All this outroness is outro.


-Pollynessispolly


Magical Friday
April 23rd, 2010

Alright, I guess Final Fantasy XIII hysteria has died down enough for it not to bury everything else, so why not end the week with some nice, light-hearted videroogame playan?

Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus are here to WHACK your boredom away with with the eighteenth installment of their Secret of Mana Let's Play. I hope Fat Kakashi sings us a song! If he doesn't, I'll be sad.

There's a couple of pieces of guest contributated content sitting on the backburner, as well as a few things I'm working on, but in all likelihood they won't be going up until around May 1st. It's just a timing thing. So, sit tight.

Enjoy your weekend!


-Pollyfridaynightupdate


Operation Nora
April 18th, 2010

Pat just punched himself in the balls.

I'm sure more than a few out there already know what this update is all about just from the title alone. So, now you fuckers can stop bugging the both of us about it. Pitchfork has finally (Operation Nora) finished that long-winded write-up of...

But, we're not (Operation Nora) quite done yet. After playing the game, both Pat and Spydakween got together and decided to talk about it for about 80 minutes in a bit of a (Operation Nora) four-part, free-form podcast type deal. Just two dorks chewing the (Operation Nora) fat over Square-Enix's latest masterpiece. You should be warned that this audio SPOILS THE ENTIRETY OF FINAL FANTASY XIII AND METAL GEAR SOLID 4. I had originally intended to put this in a little flash player thingy, but didn't really have the time.

There can't possibly be any better way to spend a Sunday!

Alrighty then, guess I'll see you (Operation Nora) folks later this month/early next month sometime!


-PollyOperationNora


Again, With The Lunchbreak Updates
April 15th, 2010

I know what you're thinking. With all these lunchbreak updates, maybe it's high-time she just start reviewing food or something! Well, you're in luck, today!

Just in time to whet your appetite just before you're about to eat, or to cure that bothersome urge to consume you've been trying to stave off for years (fatty!), decoy octopus has just the review that's sure to do one or the other. Today, he dives in and takes a big fat bite out of KFC's brand-new Double-Down monstrosity of a "sandwich". Did he end up typing this review from a hospital bed while recovering from a quadruple bypass? Only one way to find out!

HAPPY LUNCHBREAK TIME!


-Pollydown


One Man and His JRPGs
April 13th, 2010

Back again today with the last bit of Guest Contributated content remaining on the pile.

Today's update by FreezingInferno is the start of a truly epic journey. Our resident wiener maniac (not to be confused with Zack/Jack, the Lego Maniac) has decided to take our readers to the farthest reaches of space by doing a series of articles on the (pretty much dead at this point) Phantasy Star series.

But there's a catch! You see, Frezpot hasn't ever actually played these games before, so unlike myself or other fans of the series, his opinions won't be swayed by nostalgia tripping. For that reason, today, WienerInferno gives us the lowdown on his JRPG history and how it ties to all this before diving head first into the world of laser swords, cat ears, and space travel a little later down the line.

And with that, it looks like we're all caught up for now. Least, I hope I haven't missed anything!


-PollyNewman


Your Entertainment SuperStation
April 12th, 2010

As promised, the Guest Contributations are starting to roll out after much delay, and it looks like things are getting back to normal around here!

Up first today, our other resident shmup-a-holic sunburstbasser is back, and he's adding to that expansive reviews section we have! Today, he presents our first TurboGrafx/TurboDuo review for the North American pack-in game, Gate of Thunder. Since the TG-16 had such an awesome library of shmuppage, it's almost puzzling how the console has received no love here in five years. Good thing we have sunburstbasser to take care of that!

Next today.....THEEEEEEY'RE BAAAAACK! After a little bit of a break to refresh themselves (FatKakashi had Black-Eyed Peas concerts to attend and decoy octopus is busy camping out for KFC's release of the Double Heart Attack) they've return with the seventeenth installment of their Secret of Mana Let's Play. Apparently it took them four tries to get this one right, BUT THAT JUST MEANS IT WAS FOUR TIMES THE FUN!

Another bit or two of Guest Contributated content remains and should be read in the next few days...or more...or less!


-PollySuperStation


Of Capture Devices and Tech Support
April 11th, 2010

It's Sunday! Another boring Sunday! God, I hate Sunday! However, it's high-time I get to work on this pile of Guest Contributated Content I've had sitting around for a few weeks before "The Bomb" drops sometime next week and nothing else gets read this month.

Today's Guest Contributation from Delf addresses an issue a lot of us seem to have these days. Trying to find the right video capture device so you can SHOW THEM ONLINE! Today, he gives us a look at the Blitzcast BlitzBox HD capture device. I'd seen this one floating around for a while and had been curious myself, but those interested may want to have a look at his review first, so they know exactly what they're getting themselves into before dropping the cash on it.

Speaking of capturing, I recently picked up a capture device myself, and other than an odd snag and a bit of luck afterward, it's up and running, and now all I have to do is figure out the video encoding magic that makes things happen properly. As you can see, it takes great screenshots, so any reviews or write-ups on games for consoles I can run through the little fucker will FINALLY have NON-STOLEN screenshots.

I've also been dabbling in HD Video, but I can't play games FOR BARF when on camera. Seriously, I'm actually okay at these games, but when the camera comes on, the gamepad in my hands somehow turns to Jell-o and I can't fucking play for shit!

It's like we're finally in the next generation!


-Pollycap


Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net: Year Five
April 9th, 2010

What's with that banner that doesn't fit? Well, it's from the "old" site!


The very first SMPS.Net logo that lasted maybe all of one day.


Has it really been five years? Indeed it has. And in true SMPS.Net fashion, I'm not doin a god damn thing for it!

on April 9th, 2005, the very first update to the first version of the site was made. It contained an introduction to the site with sections that are no longer around, some content from an older site I used to run, and a review of Gradius V on the PS2. There may have been others that went up on launch day, but I honestly don't remember now.

The site's original design was quite crappy. It was extremely basic HTML that required far more effort to update various sections of the site than should ever be exerted for a project this stupid! In June of 2007, the site received the facelift you see today, thanks to my good friend, Kjilly, who put together something that's so simple and easy to use that I should be asking anyone who submits content to edit their own articles. The look is pretty much our signature now, and I don't see that changing anytime soon....because son of a fuck me it'd be a pain in the ass to re-edit all those .xml files.

Since the beginning, the site's become a bit larger than I ever intended. I had no aspirations of being "internet famous," I just like blabbing my innane opinions online, and somehow (read: Final Fantasy) I gained an audience. SMPS.Net went from being a site I ran and wrote for myself, to having loads of contributators over the years, and doing upwards of 80-90GB of traffic, on average, a month.

We've had a few special events, week-long console-themed extravaganzas, lots of wacky April Fool's hijinks, and lots of other strange shit I'm probably forgetting. It almost seems that with every year that passes, the site somehow manages to grow just a bit more. I MEAN GOD DAMN, HOW HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOR FIVE YEARS? SON OF A FUCK ME! We've had ups, downs, and the site even went offline for quite a while, simply because I got bored of it. Luckily, I was talked back into doing it again, and we've had something like three years straight with at least one update every month. Crazysauce!

And so, to all the folks out there who have been reading since day one, to he dood that somehow (Final Fantasy) just found this place yesterday, to the folks who contributate to the site on a regular basis, and those who are still waiting to pull the trigger...Here's to another five!

Ya know, unless I get really, really bored or something.

Final note to those who have sent Guest Contributations: I'mma workin' on it! Busy, busy, busy as you may expect. Hopefully, I can get this stuff cranked out next week sometime.

Until then!


-Polly43824


Are You Ready For BAD CUBE?
April 5th, 2010

From The Creator of the Arcade Classic Circle Challenge Comes
A Whole New Way Of Looking At Everyone's Favorite Hexahedron



BUY BAD CUBE FOR iPHONE AND iPOD TOUCH TODAY
(or Polly is going to kill you)

Rory Johnson (a.k.a. radguy58), talented iPhone/iPod developer and overall pretty cool guy, has been hard at work for quite some time putting the finishing touches on his his newest AppStore masterpiece Bad Cube, and it's now officially here for us all to enjoy!



Bad Cube is a revolutionary fast-paced 3D shoot 'em up with a quirky sense of style and humor, a unique soundtrack, and a control scheme aimed at both ease of use and comfort.

Each stage of Bad Cube pits the player against a new, nefarious cube to duel with until the bitter end. You tilt your device like a steering wheel to rotate your vessel around the cube to attack (the further you tilt, the faster you go), while tapping the screen to fire, or holding your finger on the screen to queue up special weapons. As the fights linger, your foes begin to surprise you with a wider range of attacks and new obstacles to overcome that play cleverly into each cube's theme.


Bad Cube in action

Bad Cube will last you quite a decent chunk of time for an iPhone game, as each new cube is more challenging than the previous. Figuring out how to deal with various stages of each fight can take a bit of practice, but this is most definitely one of Bad Cube's strongest traits. When you finally do win, you get that old-school feeling of accomplishment and then it's off to shoot some more cubes! Then it's time to get daring and try to top your high scores with a scoring system that rewards players who live on the edge and play dangerously. IT JUST KEEPS ON GIVING!


A closer look at Bad Cube

So what the crap are you waiting for?

For the mere price of $1.99, Bad Cube certainly offers a hell of a lot more than some dumb Fart Piano or Strip Poker app you were gonna buy. There's a real, honest to cube game in here that's most definitely worthy of a couple clams.

And come on, it's got a giant dog cube that poops at you. That's worth the $1.99 alone if you ask me.

So, be one of the many sure to be swept away by this new craze and play a good game on the iPhone/iPod Touch for once! You deserve it!


-Pollybadcube


NO MORE COCKS!
April 2nd, 2010

I hope everybody enjoyed yesterday's announcement of a brave new direction for the site. After a day of thinking about it, I've decided that the decision may have been a bit ahead of its time. The internet just doesn't appear ready to handle that much cock, so it's back to business as usual here at Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net. We'll keep the site around though for the sake of posterity, so you can always go and enjoy all the cock you want, anytime you want.

Additionally, the highly popular Kock Kombat and Cock Block have both been added to the Random section of the site for your enjoyment. A special thanks to Rhete for whipping those up.

FreezingInferno also did a quick, yet satisfying Let's Play of Kock Kombat for you all to enjoy.

Never let it be said that I don't have the best contributators and readership out there. To everyone that helped out in any way, thanks so much! I say it a lot, but you guys fucking rock.

You guys rock the cock!


-Pollycocksbegone




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