KFC's Double Down
by decoy octopus



Before I get into talking about the Double Down by KFC, let me preface this by saying that a lot of people will bemoan the Double Down as another notch in America's reputation as the fattest country in the world and ask how anyone can find this monstrosity appetizing.

I will stop you and say, you are not the target market for this sandwich and it does not matter what you say, what you picket, how you swear to high Heaven that you won't buy it really doesn't matter because this sandwich will sell moderately well for about a month and disappear.

Is it because the sandwich is a gross amalgamation of chicken, bacon, cheese and sauce?



Is it is because the double down is 540 calories, 32g of fat, and 1380g of Sodium (460/23/1430 for grilled)?



Is it because people will finally realize this kind of shit isn't good for you?

No to all three.

Why then you may ask would this sandwich fail?

Because to be quite honest it isn't a sandwich. It's a dinner plate without the side items. Most people will want a fresh double down, and when you receive it you will notice the lack of bread really does wonders for insulation of heat. You will have to wait until your chicken breasts of doom cool down so you can take a bite.

Then, as you bite into it, and either a piece of cheese falls into your lap or grease from the chicken burns you, you wonder, man I'd really like a fucking piece of bread in here somewhere.

I think that KFC over-promised and under-delivered on this sandwich. They promised the moon, and their head R&D John Molyneux once again proved as he did with the famous bowl, that his dreams and the reality of how food can be made cannot be consolidated into something that people will want.

Probably the most hilarious thing is that even though it is a beast of a meal, it's still more healthy than if you were to buy two chicken sandwiches with these patties and bacon and cheese.

KFC really needs to get their act together, because with McDonald's deep in development of the 3DBig Mac, it's only a matter of time before the big M puts KFCE out of business. And that would be a shame for us all.



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