Play HUNTERS: RELIC OF STARS Now!
March 29th, 2011

i Production's latest Flash game behemoth, Hunters: Relic of Stars has officially launched, and you don't need me to tell you to go play it now.

Due to the game's sheer size, each stage had to be its own separate file, so stay tuned for further updates. Why are you even still reading this. There's space adventures to be had, space adventurer!


-PollyHunter

Hunters: Relic of Stars - LEAKED TRAILER (TOTALLY LEAKED!)
March 28th, 2011

Yes! It's really coming out for really reals this time. Our anonymous inside sources tell us that the final details are nearly worked in place, and that in the very near future, you'll be playing Hunters: Relic of Stars at Newgrounds.com.

Our inside source did us one better and provided us with an exclusive TOTALLY LEAKED trailer for you to enjoy while you wait.


-Pollyspunaleek

Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus Are Very Tiny Men
March 23rd, 2011

SEE THAT THERE IS A PENIS JOKE! IT IS ME INDICATING THAT DECOY OCTOPUS AND FAT KAKASHI'S PENIS SIZES ARE INADEQUATE AND INCAPABLE OF PLEASING ANY FEMALE! God damn, with this kinda wit, I should be making you fuckers pay to read this site!

Anyway, speaking of Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus, they went ahead and threw up (literally, they collectively barfed it up) the ninth installment of their Tag Team Let's Play Secret of Mana Spectacular for you all to view. Be sure to rewind it once you've finished watching. No need to be rude to the next person in line.

Also, HARD CORPS UPRISING IS FUCKING HARD FUCKING FUCK!


-Pollycan'tpossiblyshrinkanymore

Rappy Culture!
March 15th, 2011

OH MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY TUESDAY! FUCK YEAH, TUESDAY! Actually, who really cares about Tuesday? What the hell did Tuesday ever do for anybody? AAAAACTUALLY, now that I think about it, I can be excited for Tuesday just this once, because today is Hard Corps Uprising day on PSN, meaning ALL OTHER GAMES CAN GO EAT POOP I AIN'T CARE ABOUT THEM! But, before I'm once again swept away by the urge to shoot any and everything that dares even look at me, I guess I should get this update out of the way.

PREPARE THYSELF, loyal readers, (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD REALLY XD XD XD) because all your dirtiest and most titillating Beepner Phantasies are about to come true! Lookit that, you perked right up! I can see it. You're aroused! Was it all that underarm flab basted like a Thanksgiving Day turkey that did it for you, or that smooth AM radio talk-show host voice? Or that singing? Maybe that dry sense of humor? Either way, why not have yourself a seat on that bed over there and get yourself in the right kinda mood with Beepner's super-extended review of the Sega Genesis classic Phantasy Star IV. You know, that game from that time when JRPGs were... almost consistently good? LASER SWORDS AND HOT ELF CHICKS AND SHIT, MAN! GO GO GO!

I really need to get that new Submissions page worked out, huh. Especially since one of those "everyone can participate" kinda community articles is coming up soon. Wait, was I supposed to say that yet? Ah well, who cares. Nobody reads this shit anyway! ;D


-Pollydoesn'treaditeither

The Magical Adventure Train Rolls On!
March 14th, 2011

MOOOOOOOOOONDAY! SUUUUUUPER FUUUUUUUUUUUNDAY! Yeah, I really got nothin' else as far as introductions go today. Maybe for tomorrow's lunchbreak update!

But hey, why not hang out with a couple of doods that are never at a loss for something to say! In fact, you can listen to both Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus talk here for for a good twenty-five minutes or so in the eighth installment of their Let's Play Secret of Mana Again LP! That's sure to get the day off to the right kinda start.

'Till tomorrow!


-Pollyday

You Are Already Dead
March 8th, 2011

What the hell? ANOTHER somewhat timely review? It's like I'm starting to lose my "here, read about some stupid random NES game no one cares about" touch! There goes the last of my credibility, I guess. LE SIGH!

But hey! HEY! LISTEN! That doesn't mean you have to jet just yet! Being timely can't be that bad, right? HOLY FUCK, IT'S LIKE I'M RELEVANT OR SOMETHING! (read: I'm not!) Tell ya what, why don't you go ahead and check out this here DS Ghost Trick review, and really decide if you'd rather read about another Dynowarz: The Destruction of Spondylus or not. Go ahead, I'll still be here when you get back.

Okay, I lied. I won't. WHATEVS!


-Pollyknockedoveryourcoffee

My So-Called Bionic Life
March 3rd, 2011

HEY THERE! WELCOME TO MARCH 3RD! Whatchu gonna be doin' to celebrate this fine third day of the third month? Me? I'mma be updatin'! So, I guess that means you're gonna be readin'! Or not! This isn't a Final Fantasy update, after all! ONTO THE SHOW!

Weeeellllp, it's time we swing back into a series that's received quite a bit of attention on this site over the last couple of years. Of course, I'm talking about the iconic Bionic Commando, and today you can read my somewhat timely review of Bionic Commando Rearmed 2: Moustache Warfare. I've been jazzed about this game forever, and many will tell you I never ever shut the hell up about it the whole year leading up to its release. Now it's time to see if all those added 'stache mechanics were the way to go or if Capcom has made a misstep with everyone's favorite swinger. Head on over and check it out!

HAPPY MARCH 3RD!
>Everybody


-Pollyswingsagain

MASSUGU GO!
March 1st, 2011

Well, well, well. Looks like we got ourselves a reader! WHATCHU READIN' FOR? Well...probably has something to do with the fact that these are the only words on your monitor right now. Or at least they should be. So help me, if you're reading something else while reading this site, I will fuckin'.... Seriously, just don't test me. You don't wanna know what'll happen. All you need to know is we're back, and today we're showcasing the work of some fine folks who were really patient in waiting for me to get this thing started again. So, without further delay, A-HUNTING WE WILL GOOOOO, A-HUNTING WE WILL GOOOOO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TODAY'S UPDATE WHAT AM I DOING? FUCK!

Up first, a guy that's been waiting well over a month for his piece to go up, and hey, he's a new contributator to boot! Of course, I'm talking about one heavymetalmage, whom some of you may have seen around the SnS forums as of late. Anyway, he seems to have a bit of an odd fixation on robotic little girls as he reveals to us all in his Japanese Cartoon review of Ergo Proxy. Its alternate title would be "Doom 3: The Japanese Cartoon". Anyway, go have a look at what he's got to say. And hey, maybe even be a little weirded out! Never let it be said we lack any sorta incentives around here!

And hey, we can't have a proper relaunch without some old pals right? Well, in this case, I guess Fat Kakashi and decoy octopus are gonna have to do. Yep, they're back everybody and they brought the seventh installment of their Let's Play Secret of Mana Again! tag-team LP with them! And that weird smell... Not really sure what that is. Pretty sure there's some nacho in there though...

Anyway, we're off and rollin' again! I'll be making some slight changes to the submissions page and opening Guest Contributated content again within the next week or so. The old page didn't make some things perfectly clear, so I'll go ahead and fix that up. I've also got a couple of my own ree-voos to drop this week.

HEY HEY! WE'RE LIVE AGAIN!


-Pollymovinout