If Any Of You Buy This Shit I Will Kill You
April 28th, 2005

I've been seeing commercials lately advertising this stupid, shitty, fucking idiotic attempt to steal Family Guy Fans' money, and rightfully so, I was skeptical. Stupid tie-ins like this with TV series are always fucking lame and stupid. The Simpsons did it and it wasn't funny then, and it's certainly not funny now. This is just a lame ass attempt by Seth McFarlane to make money while spamming the fact that his show is back on the air. It's the eqivalent of a guy realizing he has a dick and then running around town yelling at everybody, "HEY EVERYBODY, I HAVE A DICK! I HAVE A DICK!" I'm glad I downloaded this fucking piece of audio vomit instead of shelling out the $19 that every store around here wants for it. It took the long, lonely trip to my recycle bin after I'd finished listening to the affair. I'm a pretty big Family Guy fan. I enjoy the show a lot. But this shit isn't even funny and doesn't even seem Family Guy-related at all.

I guess a lot of the juvenile types are gonna love this. Since there are no censors, characters are let loose and free to drop F-Bombs whenever they damn well please. I don't really have a fucking problem with the word "fuck," but it sounds out of character all around. When you have Stewie busting out the kind of profanity that he does on this record, it makes everything seem overly ridiculous and out of character. It's like the CD is trying to be as "in your face" as possible and it looks just fucking silly trying to do it.

Then there are the songs. They're all presented as showtunes, as I expected, but none of the songs are funny at all. They're just profanity-ridden, sexual innuendo anthems with some celebrity name dropping here and there. Songs about babysitting, old cartoon characters, and an ode to booze round out what this whole thing's all about. The only redeeming track that I mildly enjoyed was the TV Medley which was a collection of all the Family Guy characters singing renditions of old TV shows. One 9 minute track out of a 67 minute record isn't bad though, right?

Really, what's the point of this? I think a collection of songs from the show would have been a better compilation. If you're gonna rip people off, at least do it in a way that Family Guy still feels like Family Guy. Shame on you, Seth.


-Pollyhate


Viva-La-Geekery
April 26th, 2005

There's a Halo review up in case you might be curious as to what my honest opinion of Halo actually is. I reviewed Halo instead of Halo 2, because if I reviewed Halo 2 it just wouldn't be fair. Trust me on this one. That and I couldn't think of another "5 Things..." review type that'd be funny, but if I do I'll definitely post it.

I was a big TechTV dork back when it was still in existence. I was there when it originally started as ZDTV, and stuck through all the way through the G4 merger. Regardless of what a lot of people think, TechTV DID do a lot for television. It may not have had big ass network ratings, but they had a really big hand in making people aware of the technology that was quickly evolving around them. They did it in a friendly and very accessable manner, and never sounded condescending even to the most trying of live callers. Even if they didn't pull the numbers that other networks could, I think they were doing a damn good thing while they were there and I believe they got snuffed out just as they were on the verge of blowing up into something big. All that remains now is G4. I don't mind G4 as much as I did in the beginning. I learned to accept that TechTV will never be back and I can actually stomach some of the stuff on G4 now, becuase it's not trying to parade itself off as still having something to do with tech. I actually recommend shows like XPlay (the last real TechTV show), Judgement Day, Icons, and Attack of the Show. I'd watch Cheat and Filter more if they merged both of the shows and turned it into a 60-minute show about Diane Mizota and Kristin Holt eating each other out in various settings. I think a lot of people would watch that!

The reason I bring up TechTV is because a few of the left-behinds from the network have gotten together to produce a weekly internet radio show about tech, gadgets, and a lot of general geeky stuff.

Revenge of These Green Saviors (clever play on "The ScreenSavers since they can't use that name, becuase G4 won't let it go.). The first two episodes of the show are decent. They feature former heart of TechTV, host of Call For Help, and co-host of The ScreenSavers Leo Laporte and his longtime partner on TSS, Patrick Norton. Also featured on the show is current co-host of Attack of the Show on G4, Kevin Rose. And lab rat Robert Heron who brings a lot of info about gadgets and cameras and other neat stuff. I only look for the show to get better as it goes, so give it a go if you're into internet radio and/or tech.

Also worth checking out is Kevin Rose's pet project The Broken. It's a little more gritty and less "friendly" than TechTV/G4's stuff, and it's a lot more black hat, dealing with hacking and the like. It's pretty cool for what it is if you're into that kinda thing.

Soooooo yeah...that's about it for now.


-Pollytech


Yeah, I Probably Would Too
April 25th, 2005

A Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Exclusive! I've recently uncovered a cut scene in Doom III for the PC. Well, actually it turns out to be more of an outtake of the Marine's meeting with Cyberdemon.

Right Click, Save As. It's Windows Media.


-Pollydoom


It Seems Today That All You See
April 23rd, 2005

Fans of good American (fuck your anime bullshit, cockfaces!) animation, rejoice! Family Guy has returned...well kinda. Family Guy will be returning for a fourth season on Fox on May 1st, and after..."travelling through time to next Sunday" (read: downloading a leak of the first episode), I can safely say that the show has lost nothing in all its time off.

I was afraid the show would be watered down and just generally unfunny like the American Dad debut was, but it seems Mr. McFarlane was merely just pumping all the funny into Family Guy and American Dad got left out. Can't say I'm disappointed, because I hated the very premise, characters, and pilot of American Dad anyway.

I won't spoil the first episode, but I will say that it had quite a few laugh out loud moments for me. Now, if Fox doesn't decide to bounce the show from shitty time slot to shitty time slot again, there'll actually be something GOOD to watch on TV on Sunday nights now. The Simpsons doesn't count anymore and hasn't for about 7 years.


-Pollyanimation


Ever Heard of Windows? Well You Will Soon!
April 18th, 2005

Fun With News.

Apparently Microsoft doesn't think that you're quite aware enough of Windows just yet. I guess 3/4 of the entire known fucking world using their Operating System isn't enough, but hey. Some people are just completely insatiable. So they're launching a big ass ad campaign to let you know all about it!

I think for this campaign to be effective, all they need to do is run ads like mine.


-Pollyadvertising


Tuning Up
April 18th, 2005

For the most part you won't notice anything cosmetically, but the site's code has been tuned up a bit thanks to the wonderfully gifted Kjil. A lesson to those wanting to build your own website, spend more than 5 minutes on your basic design. I didn't and things started getting clunky, so invest maybe 15-20 minutes into what you think your site's gonna look like and how it'll be coded to work in both Internet Explorer and FireFox correctly.

And now, out of a sheer fit of randomness:

Polly's Ghetto Taco Salad

Ingredients:
1 Bag of Doritos (or any off-brand nacho chip, they all taste the same.)
1 Big Ol Lump of Hamburger
1-2 Packet(s) of Taco Sauce Mix powder stuff thing stuff stuff
1-2 Head(s) of Lettuce
Assorted Cheeses (whatever you like)

Instructions:
Cook up the lump of hamburger and mix in the Taco Sauce Mix. Let it get nice and brown. Taste periodically to see if it's too your liking.

And that's really all the cooking you have to do. I'm not a cook, I just kinda do this stuff on instinct. Just get yourself a plate/bowl/trashcan/whatever you eat out of and throw all the ingredients in and mix em up all nice and neat. Smashing the shit out of the Doritos is optional but I prefer it.

And there you have it. My favorite "too lazy to make anything else" dinner. I've been making and eating it for years now and loves it. Eat your fucking heart out, Emeril..


-Pollytaco


Everything In This Post Is True
April 17th, 2005

Doom III is hereby my favorite First-Person Shooter of all time. The original Half-Life claimed that spot for years, but has been dethroned by the new reigning "Whos Yo Mama Bad Ass" King of the Shooters for me. This is called hype, ladies and gentlemen. I'm quite ashamed.

Okay, not really, but it's still pretty damn neat.

Ya know what needs to fucking die? Jamster. If you don't know what they are, well be glad you don't. It means you don't watch TV for even one minute a day, which makes you smarter than me. I flipped through 80 channels yesterday. Nine of which were on commercial break. SIX! SIX of those fucking channels had Jamster ads going. You can't have one commercial break go by now without seeing an ad for these fucking jerks.

And if you're stupid enough to think that the shit Jamster wants to add to your cellphone is good, then you need to get a butter knife, stick it in your fucking ear, push in as hard as you can and twist it.

IT'S A FUCKING CELLPHONE YOU STUPID FUCKS! Why do you need a fucking Piffy Poof Daddy ringtone? Why do you need a flashy "I'm so fucking hip" screensaver? It's a phone. A PHONE!!! You put it to your EAR and TALK INTO IT!

I hope Jamster dies, and I hope you do too if you're using any of the shit they're shovelling down your throat.


-Pollyirritated


PANTS!
April 10th, 2005

So what's all that ruckus about Mr. Pants? Well go here and find out! And when it's released stateside, if you have a GameBoy Advance, be sure to pick it up. It'll only be $14.99, and you could use a nice little puzzler in your collection anyway. Besides, you're a loser, what else are you gonna do with $15 anyway? Yeah, I thought so.

A bit of an odd story. Myself and a friend were running around the mall yesterday just looking around at whatever, when we bumped into a friend of her's. We introduced ourselves as you'd normally do, however it seems my friend's friend was on the horrible receiving end of one of God's practical jokes. My friend's friend was...well...she was big. Nothing wrong with that. Buuuuuuut, unfortunately God saw fit to birth her to a family with a very unfortunate family name (for her). Her last name is "Bigley." Yes, Bigley. I'm probably going to hell for it, but I had to make a hasty retreat to another store quickly saying I "forgot to pick something up," because laughter was quickly overcoming me. One of those surreal moments in life...for me anyway.


-Pollypants


Welcome To No Sympathy Night
April 9th, 2005

Welcome to Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net. It's something or other. This site has no real focus, and serves only as my vehicle for posting random crap whenever I want. I'll throw it out there real quick that there's no "set" update schedule. I'll update whenever I want with whatever I want. This site isn't "work" for me, it's just something here for my own amusement. I'm not gonna force content, if I don't feel like doing anything.

So, with that out of the way, I'll take a few moments to describe how things are gonna go around here. Currently the site is divided up into six sections, and that can increase or decrease at my discretion.

Main:
This is probably where most stuff will end up. I guess the main page can be considered a blog of sorts, but without the stupid real life emotional, attention whorish bullshit. So, you could end up seeing almost anything here. If anything major has changed with the site, it'll be listed in the latest entry here.

About:
Contains some basic information about myself and the site.

Articles:
Occasionally, I get a crazy idea and write up or do something stupid. When I do, it'll go here. Everything here is random and unorganized because I have no idea what I'll feel like writing about or whatever.

Games:
I have a lot to say about the games that I play, and I'll say it here in review form when I get inspired to. All games will be rated on a five-sock rating system. It's my opinion, so if you don't like it, well it's like the toilet said to the turd that wouldn't flush... "Tough shit."

Links:
A list of pages I like and/or visit often.

Archive:
To keep the front page from getting clogged, when I make the first entry of a new month, I'll move the previous month's posts here and keep them spiffy and in order in a nice chronological index.

Just wanted to mention also that the awesome site banner you see on the splash screen and the top of the page was made by the amazingly gifted Kjil.

So, yeah. Enjoy your stay. Lucky for you, I've launched the site with a little content to keep you little stalkers busy. Sleep tight!


-Pollygenesis




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