May 31st 2005
THIS ENTRY IS EXTREEEEEEEME!!!
May 26th, 2005
ARE YOU READY FOR AN ARTICLE SO HOT IT'LL FEEL LIKE YOU TOOK A PLATE OF COOKIES AND BAKED
EM UP IN YOUR ASS? THEN CHECK OUT DECOY'S NEW ARTICLE ABOUT THE N64
IT'S GONNA PUNCH YOUR BALLS OFF AND JUMP OFF THE TOP ROPE AND INTO YOUR ASS, YOU BALL
SNIFFING GOAT YIFFING FUCKPIG ASSHAT PICKLEDICK COCK RAMMING ASS-DOUCHE WEARING DIARRHEA
GARGLING DIRTY PANTY SNIFFERS!
Yeah, I'm not original...neither are you, [REDACTED]s.
I Make Comics!
May 22nd, 2005
I know you've waited long and hard for this update. Your anticipation has built up to
frightening degrees and you can barely hold out any longer. Your eagerness drips slowly
from you as you get closer and closer to realizing that this update has finally come.
That's right dickface-penis burgers! It's update time! I've updated the Articles
section of the site with a new section. Since I regularly do guest spots for
Fifth Floor: Menswear
, I decided to kinda
store the guest strips I do here too. I really only did so to make it appear like I actually
care about updating anything but the front page for now. So enjoy, [REDACTED]os!
Also, go read Fifth Floor now, because it's more cool than you can ever hope to be, and a
hell of a lot more defined and interesting. That's right, I went there. I'm not sorry.
Just Some Random Stuff
May 19th, 2005
I've not been in much of an update-sitey mood lately, so for the sake of absolutely nothing,
I'm posting random shit for no real reason!
Hey, check it out! G4 may suck as a whole, but damn they sure can be funny sometimes!
I did this to my dad when I
first saw it air!
If you watch this and it
doesn't make you laugh or get stuck in your head, I hate you and you should die.
If this was really a show,
I'd watch every damn night.
They're a great way to waste 5-10 minutes or so of a boring, rainy, shitty day. Like
And your random PSO reference for the day.
And that's about it. Tune in next time, when the entire entry will consist of a whole mess
dick jokes and fallic references. I know what country I'm in, don't worry. Dick jokes are
on the way. Relax.
Believe It Or Not, I'm Watching E3
May 18th, 2005
As you may or may not know, the biggest electronics expo is going on right now! That's right
E-motherfucking-3. Last year's E3 was pretty damn boring, but this year's has promised to be
the biggest E3 ever. From a console gamer's perspective, it's hard to not get caught up in the
hype, but since I'm amazingly jaded and sick of everything I think I have a somewhat sober look
at how the three big press conferences have turned out so far.
What can I say about it besides I think that everything they showed was CG and not game footage
at all. The KillZone material they showed, reminded me of the shitty mock-up mission they showed
for Halo 2 at E3 last year. Not that what we were seeing looked shitty, in both Halo and KillZone's
case, but just like Halo 2, I'll almost guaran-damn-tee you won't see any of that shit in the final
product. Oh, and we saw some "cool" tech demos with rubber ducks falling into a tub of water and
spilling over. Joy. Didn't impress me at all.
Let's talk about pulling the wool over peoples' eyes. I watched this press conference and
God fucking shit on a barf stick, I don't know WHAT THE FUCK they're saying. The XBOX 360
is looking like a console with one seriously hideous identity confusion complex. It wants to be every
fucking appliance in your house. They also wanna get "one billion gamers." They think they'll
do this by letting you run a cafepress store from your XBOX. Well yay! I can't do that on my
PC! OH SHI----... Games...games... Well they boasted backward compatability but what bothers
me is the wording in which it was announced. "You will be able to play the 'best selling' XBOX
games on the 360." or something along those lines. Seems a little sneaky to me, but we'll see.
Once again, not all that impressed. Show me something more than 15 frame per second CG mock
demos you stupid [REDACTED]os.
They had a chance to come out and fucking own everyone and they blew it. Totally blew it. They
had absolutely nothing to show aside from a little black box that wasn't even the final design.
There was a small Metroid Prime video that really wasn't all that impressive, but other than that,
they didn't prove anything. It was all talk. Backward compatability is a nice feature, and having
Nintendo's 20 year library of games from NES, SNES, and N64 available to you via download is a
freakin sweet idea. BUT! It's going to be a hard sell because I could just as easily pay $20
for a mod chip and snap it into my XBORX and do the same thing. AND, it'll probably only be
first party nintendo games, which isn't bad, but not what I could get even just sitting at my
computer downloading ROMs all day. Oh and the crowning jewel of their presentation was
NintenDogs for the DS. HOLY FUCKING AWESOME (read: HOLY FUC-*BARF* *DIE*) Another disappointment.
I really wanted to be excited about all these press conferences, but all I got was deception,
confusion, and embarassment. Only time will tell now, but that's how I feel about it at the
Bursting With Blue!
May 11th, 2005
Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst Open Beta
IS HERE, and that
basically means I'll be neglecting the site more than usual to play, and it'll probably
be even worse when the beta ends on June 10th and the game goes officially "live."
I WAS looking forward to playing Psychonauts this week, however it got delayed for the PS2
and isn't coming out now till June 1st. I'd get it on the XBORX but I don't really feel like
busting it out and hooking it up. Also been wasting a lot of time with Devil May Cry 3, so
there'll probably be something here soon detailing my feelings about it. Here's a hint:
But, until then, Ragol calls and I answer once more. Just like I have since version 1 for
Dreamcast way back in January 2001. God damn, it's been a long fucking time.
Just Because I'm Fair
May 7th, 2005
I get the feeling that Peaches
may think that I was a little unfair in my views about Halo 2
So, in the spirit of fairness, I decided that I'd do a review just for him. Now, tell me I'm
There's some other material brewing, but I'm not promising anything yet. Kinda sick at the
moment and Devil May Cry 3 is taking up a nice chunk of my time.
On the music side of things, the new Nine Inch Nails, System of a Down, and Team Sleep
records are pretty good. The Nine Inch Nails album isn't really anything new from Trent,
but it is a good album with some rock experimentation on his part. The System of a Down
record is better than the pile of shit that was Toxicity and Steal This Album, but still
isn't anywhere as good as their self-titled. And Team Sleep, Chino Moreno's side project,
is a nice techno-ey laid back album with lots of dream-like guitar work and vocals. A nice
little audio experiment, I must say.
May 3rd, 2005
Oh Shit! New Month!
May 1st, 2005
Yes, the front page is now clean, and that's because with every new month I'll clear it off.
and move old entries to the Archive.
So, if for whatever reason
you wanna read back through previous entries, that'll be the place to go.
Two new reviews are up. One for the Doom III Expansion
another for Tales of Symphonia
for the GameCube.
Yeah, I guess I'm reviewing a lot of games and haven't really done an article since I put
the site up, but nothing's inspired me to do so. Most stuff I have to say can usually be
taken care of with a little entry on the front page. So, when I think of something interesting
to bitch about or make fun off, it'll go there.
And I'm spent!