This is Clark Kent.
This is Superman.
This is the anime Statue of Liberty.
(Bet you fucking Japanophile shits are just EATING THAT KAWAII SHIT UP AREN'T YOU? I HOPE YOU DIE!)
Do I even need to say anymore? I do? Well fuck on a shit stick...
The game runs at a staggering 12FPS and STILL HAS SLOWDOWN! It might go without saying that the game is hardly playable. Hit detection is so bad, I can initiate
the punch animation and literally sometimes hit enemies that are all the way across the screen.
Don't worry, they can do the same thing to you. Performing your punch attack in mid-air multiple
times will keep you "stuck" in the air for as long as you press the button. You can use this technique to
easily glide past any enemies that may be in your way and over to the next screen.
In short, I've played better games on Action 52 for NES that played better than this steaming
pile of whale shit. I don't even know why they fucking even bothered. I'd have taken more
screenshots, but it'd have taken too much fucking effort. I'd have completed the first mission
but the fucking game crashed. I'd have FUCK SHIT ASS COCK DAMN BITCHING FUCKPUKE!!!!!!!111
This game isn't even "so bad it's good." It's just a game that'll make you feel like you've fucking
commited a crime against all that is gaming just for playing. This game came out in 1988, when
only a year later Sunsoft's incredibly amazing Batman: The Game was released. You can't fucking
tell me that there's no way they could have done something really awesome with the Superman license
if Batman got such an amazing game.
There. Fuck off. I hate you Kemco. Suck my fucking dick.
IT FUCKING DOESN'T GET NO SOCKS!