Super Amazing Wagon Adventure Mini Review
by Polly

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Super Amazing Wagon Adventure
Platform(s):
 PC, XBox Live Indie Game
Price: $2.99 (PC), 80 Microsoft Points (XBox 360)
Purchase Link:  http://www.sparsevector.com/wagon-adventure/

Look, I know if you're anything like me, you're probably a bit sick to death of this whole, "OMG PIXELS ARE SO COOOOOL THIS IS JUST LIKE MY NINTENDO TAPES" movement that's taken place in the indie sector over the last few years, and probably wanted to immediately close the window by coming to another site and seeing yet another one of those games, but hear me out on this one. We both know that I'm always right, so come on. You're in good hands here!

Drop what you're doing right now and go snag yourself a copy of Super Amazing Wagon Adventure! Go ahead! Look at how cheap it is! How can you possibly resist? This post will still be here when you get back, so don't sweat it!

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"Polly, what the poop 'n balls am I looking at," you may be saying to yourself, and then I'd tell you that you're looking at one of the most fun little time wasters I've come across in a while. 

Did ya like The Oregon Trail on the Apple IIe in grade school? Of course you did! Only communists and Satanists didn't! And you can't tell me you didn't play it, because there's not a single person alive on this entire fucking planet that hasn't!

That said, did you ever think The Oregon Trail would be about 255 times more radpants if you could do fun stuff like call in airstrikes, jump over entire rivers in your carriage, or fight off swarms of angry eagles after  drunkenly driving your cart off a cliff? OF COURSE YOU HAVE!

SURPRISE! Sparsevector has finally answered every single prayer you've ever sent to the heavens

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The wagon is doing its best impression of your jump for joy right now!

Anyway, Super Amazing Wagon Adventure is a somewhat randomly generated retelling of the classic Oregon Trail, packaged up as a simple side-scrolling shmup and dual-stick shooter. It's simple! In the carriage it's a shmup, and on foot it's a Robotron'ish dual stick shooter! It's amazingly easy to pick up and play, and each session, whether you survive the trail or not, will be over in probably less than fifteen minutes tops. 

But that doesn't really mean you'll wanna stop playing. There's plenty of adventure to be had with the ridiculous amount of random events that can occur over the course of a single playthrough. I'd go more in-depth about the possible scenarios you'll potentially encounter, but I'd really be spoiling the best part. 

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Random events are preceded by short bits of brilliantly written matter-of-fact text that chronicle each and every possible thing that can happen during your journey. Even character deaths are given an amazing amount of (sometimes) gory detail pertaining to their demise, all perfectly fitted to the situation. So, if one of your characters dies during a buffalo stampede, there are many text screens that can recount their departure in vivid and oftentimes hilarious fashion. 

As you play, you'll notice that certain parts of the narrative are set in stone and will happen every time no matter what, but these are only there to help keep the game on a linear track toward its conclusion. After five hours of playtime, I was STILL running into new and crazy random scenarios between the mandatory sequences, so you're clearly getting your money's worth with just how much stuff is crammed in here.

On top of all that, there's a crazy amount of new wagons that can be unlocked by clearing specific scenarios, each with their own unique stats.  There's also a Survival mode that lets you play various minigame scenarios that can be unlocked by playing the main game, and a Warioware'esque Shuffle mode that makes playing in this mode even crazier. 

Really, bang for your buck here. LITERALLY if you go with the XBox Live version! With such a small time investment involved on each attempt at finishing the trail and the crazy amount of delightfully humorous content, the replay value is simply staggering. You'd have to be silly in the brain to not pick this one up!

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