NES Week Part C: Day Final
July 27th, 2007
So here we are at the end of the tunnel. NES Week draws to a close today,
but let me assure you that it's definitely going out with a bang. So,
without wasting anymore time, let's get to the content, shall we?
TEN "FUCK YOU" MOMENTS IN POLLY NES
Here ya go! You can have a nice big fat article where I swear a lot over the
things that originally made me swear over them! I was quite a potty-mouthed
8-10 year old, and you can be God damn sure the NES turned out to be one of
the biggest reasons why.
Travisty wraps up his 3-part, week long dip into the world of videogame
commentary with an extended look at
. Does he have what it takes to stack up against Lorenzo
Lamas? Well maybe you should just stop your fuckin gawkin and click the
link to find out already!
The Hutch seems to have calmed down a bit after his last video
review/commentary yesterday. Come experience the cuter and cuddlier
side of Hutchface McButly as buries his face in a bowl of
Mad Max Video Review
and blows, spraying
the contents all over the kitchen.
And we wrap up submissions from readers today with
you guessed it, an article by Fat Pat
It wouldn't be a special event here at SMPS without some kind of
long-winded contribution from our resident windbag. In it, he says basically
everything I've ever tried to tell anyone about my favorite
era of gaming. So, be sure to head
on over there and give that a look if you've got about 3 hours to spare.
But we're not finished yet, my friends! I have a couple other little
sweet morsels to barf into my audience's open and waiting collective
First up is the last of the little Flash music players. This one's a
collection of tunes from a few games that I just can't ever get enough
of. Konami, Sunsoft, and Tecmo take up pretty much the bulk of the
thing. I avoided the easy to pick stuff like Mega Man in favor of
some tunes I don't think get quite the recognition they deserve.
I'll also mention that for the Castlevania III tunes, I captured from the
Japanese version of the game, Akumajou Densetsu. The Japanese version
contained a special sound chip that gave them more room to work with
music-wise so the songs have a lot more "oomph!" So I hope
you enjoy these tunes as much as I do.
Lastly, I present to you something awkward. I'm not sure how many of
you might be familiar with this, but back at the height of NES fandom
in the late 80's and early 90's, there was this goofy videogames game
show called Video Power. It was Nothing short of absolutely fucking
awkward at all times. You can tell that the main host, "Johnny
Arcade" has no fucking clue as to what he's talking about more than
90% of the time, and the poor kids that are chosen to play just seem
fucking scared of him. And you don't need to know jack shit about
acting to see that about 50% of everything is completely staged.
I found these on YouTube so they may or may not still be there by the
time you read this 18 years from now when this site will still obviously
Episode 1 Part 1
| Part 2
Episode 2 Part 1
| Part 2
Episode 3 Part 1
| Part 2
Episode 4 Part 1
| Part 2
Episode 5 Part 1
| Part 2
Episode 6 Part 1
| Part 2
Mickey Tveter Episode Part 1
| Part 2
Now the last episode there is interesting because the dude that was featured as a contestant in it
actually wrote an article about his experience
Pretty cool stuff.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a wrap on yet another, and quite possibly the last,
NES Week of 8-bit greatness and glory. Why the last? Well, maybe it's just me, but
what more needs to be said about our grey shoe-boxy buddy that we haven't said already
in the last 3 years? Maybe I'm wrong, who knows? But for now, there are currently no
plans to do one next year, unless I change my mind or someone convinces me I should.
What's in the future then? Other console-themed weeks, perhaps? Something not even video game
related at all? If you got a suggestion, I'm more than willing to give it a listen.
And so, with the week wrapped up, I can't end this thing without properly thanking those who helped
make this whole thing possible by spending their valuable time to help contribute. So, special
thanks are in order for LoTR_Dan, Master of AFTER, decoy octopus, Kaz, Peaches, The Hutch,
Scott, Travisty, Kjilly, kc Green, and Pitchfork
. Once again, you guys fuckin rock.
Good night and good luck!
NES Week Part C: Day Four
July 26th, 2007
If NES Week was kind of like a lollipop, then I think it'd be shaped like
luscious, supple breast. Not only does it provide you with all the nourishment
you need to make it through such an exhausting week, but it's just
damn fun! Have a squeeze and suck at some of today's offerings!
Twenty-Two Games You May or May Not Want
Enjoy shorter, though not written any better, bite-size reviews of many of the
Konami games I own from the NES-era. It's exhaust-tastic!
Peaches resurfaces from the landfill he entered months ago when he began reviewing
Color Dreams games, and brings with him a fresh look at, not
one, but TWO new Color Dreams games AT THE SAME TIME
. I honestly don't know whether
one should commend that kind of masochism, or have somebody committed for it. Maybe
you'll have a better opinion on the situation if you shlep on down there and read it.
And finally today, we have another submission from The Hutch. Ol' Hutchy is
touchin some kids and.... .. Touchin some more kids
video review of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. What is it, the attack of
the killer lisps this week? Anyway, you should probably go watch his video before
he gets arrested.
Tune in tomorrow for the final day of NES Week action, when Sylvia will say...
NES Week Part C: WedNESday!
July 25th, 2007
How ya like that little pun in the title, eh? Pretty clever, right?
I can assure you that Master of AFTER isn't the one that brought it to
my attention and that it fell out of my own incredibly intelligent brain. If
he tries to tell you otherwise, he's a filthy whorebag liar!
So, I guess you're here either to find out if you've won or if there's more
NES Week goodness if your future. Well, let's find out!
Snoop decoy Dogg's
in the motherfuckin house
like ev-ery-day and he's got a fresh review
for a game he played
. And like he said, bitches can't fuck wit dis! And
bitches can't fuck with dat! Reviews that he drop, cause you know he don't stop,
Mr. Always Finds Men In Nut Hugging Speedos Hot...
God...did I just do that?
HEY TRAVISTY IS BACK! He did another one of
them there gameplay commentaries
, so go on over and check that out. The
final video in his series will arrive Friday, so you may want to buy tickets
now before they're sold out.
Master of AFTER
managed to end up alone
in a huge house being pursued by two men of questionable sexual preference.
You can read all about it here
to find out
if he managed to escape or not. I hope he didn't. The fucker.
And we close out the day with what I think is probably my favorite NES soundtrack
of all time: Ninja Gaiden II. Everything about the tunes in Ninja Gaiden II was
perfect. Great melodies, awesome sounding percussion, and tunes that went on a
lot longer than typical NES tuneage seeming more like real song compositions.
I present it to you here today!
Whew! That should keep the lot of you busy for a while! I have not ridden a
bicycle in 5 years. That depresses me for some reason.
NES Week Part C: Day Two
July 24th, 2007
Looks like you came crawling back for more. Well that's good, because
there's some more hawt 'n sticky NES Week goodness to keep you company.
Grab a knfe and fork and dig the fuck in!
AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOUR STORY IS
ALL ABOUT NINJAS, PRESIDENTS, AND DUDES
The Hutch's first submission this week is pretty green. It dwells in sewers
and sneaks out at night to eat all your pizza. If you lack eyes in the
back of your head and a Soliton Radar System to detect it,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade
shall lay claim to yet another one of your fatty, fatty, dinnertime
treats. And your sister. But I already fucked your sister, so it probably
doesn't matter at this point.
And finally today, we have a huge contribution from a good ol' fellow named
Scott. Unbeknownst to me...I have readers that apparently aren't from the 8eb forum!
Turns out Scott's the professor teaching
the Zelda II course this year
and he's leaking all the test and exam
answers to the internet because he had an INCREDIBLE desire to stick it to
the man. Help Scott stick it to the man and read his article of Pat proportions...
On second thought... I probably should have worded that better... but alas, my
backspace key is broken! Honest! :( :( :(
Anyway, the article made me reconsider my stance on the game for a couple days
when I tried and failed miserably to have the patience for it again. But after
reading Scott's article, you'll probably feel like you just played through it and
that's probably good enough for most. GO! READ!
And that's all we got for today! Check back tomorrow to see if you're a winner.
NES Week Part C: Day One
July 23rd, 2007
Looks like it's about that time again and you're gonna love it... at least
I hope... That's right, you've just stumbled into a house rented out by
Dateline NBC in a small rural neighborhood and you're gonna be world famous.
Only difference is, Chris Hansen isn't gonna hop out of a closet to bust
you for your various illicit online activities while you stammer and bumble
around like a complete moron. No siree, you're staring down both smoking
barrels of NES Week Part C as soon as you step through that door! A five-day
celebration of all things NES, the good and the bad! Like last year, this
year's event Features all-new original content from myself and quite a few others.
So get yourself comfortable and let all your worries in the world drift away.
NES Week is here for ya, adding 8 easy bits of meaning to your pointless, pathetic lives.
Getting things started...
AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF [REDACTED]GY FIGURE SKATING AND
FIGHTIN' IS YOUR THING
And once again, this year we've got another heaping helping of content
generously provided by readers! First up on the ol' contributions list,
busting his SMPS Submission Cherry is LoTR_Dan! He's got a few things
to say about Ikari Warriors
and if any of
you have played the game, you might know what to expect here.
Travisty introduces the art of the multimedia approach to game reviewing
and playing commentary for SMPS with the first in his three-part
coming this week. Mystery
Quest is first on the list
, so go check it out and keep an eye out for part two
And lastly, a fun little addition to things I'll be adding to the front
page this week. I made a few neat little Flash music players to throw
out a couple of my favorite soundtracks and some random tunes here
and there. This first one shouldn't surprise anyone at all.
These are a little big, so give em time to load. They're pretty easy to
work with (I know my audience), so crank it up and enjoy some great
And that wraps up the first day of content. Check back in tomorrow for
Couple other things I should mention before closing the first day's
festivities out. A special thanks goes out to Mr.
once again for providing the cute little NES icons you'll see
on the front page this week. Very cool stuff as are all 815,000,000 of his
webcomics, so go check those out too. Also thanks go out to both Kjilly
and Kaz for their work in helping pull together the idea for the NES Week
Part C logo you'll see up there at the top of every entry this week.
Kazlo-bob did the coloring and Kjilly pulled the lettering closer together.
Now get the fuck outta here, you're scaring me!
NES Week: The Final Reminder & P&P Stuff
July 20th, 2007
Just a head's up to those who might still be lagging with their NES Week contributions. I'd really
appreciate it if you could get them to me by Sunday night. I have the week planned out for the most
part with contributions I already have, but the schedule is flexible. I'll still accept contributions
next week providing that they get to me no later than Wednesday night/early Thursday morning (since
I usually have the next day's update up at midnight). So, if you're lagging behind there's still
time. Shoot that shit down to:
In other news, The Adventures of Pat & Polly will be taking a small 3-4 week hiatus (I know you all
reeeeaaally care). All that adventuring sure does make ol' Pat and Polly tired, so they need a break.
In the meantime, and I'm not asking or begging anyone to, if you have a P&P idea and would like to
try your hand at doing a guest spot lemme see whatcha got. I only ask that submissions keep with
P&P's lighthearted (read: stupid) theme and not be vulgar or explicit. Violence is A-Ok though! Send any guest strips,
art, or what have you to the email address above. I'll contact you as soon as I get it and let
you know if I'll be using it. If I don't use it, I'll try and explain why, and please don't be
too offended if I don't. I have rejected a couple of guest strips in the past (isn't that fucking
hilarious? My shitty comic rejecting something?), so I hope that things can go as civil as those
Welp! Until next week! Have a lovely fucking weekend!
Konami On The Go!
July 10th, 2007
I've owned it for about a week now, and pootle around with it every now and then at work when there's
time for pootling, that's why I wroted some stufferinos
Classics Series Arcade Hits for the Nintendo DS.
NES Week Part C in TWO MORE WEEKS! FEEEEED MEEEEEE!
Look Ma, We're Next Gen!
July 6th, 2007
No reason to get your hopes up, my loyal dog-like followers. I haven't purchased
a 360, so I'm not available to completely and utterly humiliate your asses in every
XBLA game currently available yet. I know, I know, shit sucks like that sometimes.
Actually, what we have here are the first two next-gen reviews for the site courtesy of
Kaz. He recently experimented with drugs while playing The
and Tenchu Z
and was left so inspired afterward
that he just HAD to write something about them, giving him a monopoly over the site's
XBORX 360/Next-Gen content. A round of applause for the man with no competition!
DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU PLAN ON FOLLOWING HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI KAI AND HAVE
NOT ALREADY SEEN THE FIRST EPISODE! SPOILERS N' SHIT MAN! SPOILERS N' SHIT...KINDA!
I'm not gonna try and turn this into an anime blog or anything, and I likely won't try and cover
every episode as it airs (or I might, who the fuck knows?), because I'm just not all that good at shit like that.
I doubt even 90% of the 4 people (figure that one out) that read my site will give two flipping shits about it
anyway, but it's my site and I'll [REDACTED] it up if I wanna.
It's just somethin to do!
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai
episode 1 aired yesterday and was subbed pretty damn fast. I can't
say the quality of the subs are fantastic, given that it's a speed sub, but they manage to get enough
across so that you understand what's really going on. In all likelihood, you'll wanna grab this one
and watch it once, then grab one of the better groups' releases, watch that and then archive it.
The new OP this season isn't too bad, but it's not quite as good as the first season's. As with the rest of
Higurashi's story, the OP focuses almost entirely on Rika, showcasing snapshots of other characters here and
there. The song itself is alright, but I feel it's a little too J-Poppy for a show like this. The ED is a
dreamy little number and much better in my opinion than last season's Why Or Why Not?
It features a
mix of stills and small animated clips of characters together and... MOTHER FUCKING BAM!
SURPRISE LOLI LESBIAN KISS!
You enjoy that! Okay, it's more like a split second deal where their faces come close, hidden behind their hands
so maybe they're not, but you know what they want us to think. Especially after all that hand-play before it...
This isn't the first episode of the new arc that had an advance screening a couple weeks ago. This episode,
entitled "Reunion", is a bit of a one-off deal, that tries to fill in a couple gaps left from the
first season. It comes from the games' TIPS. If you're not familiar with those, don't worry about it.
It begins with Akasaka (the cop Rika met in season 1's fourth arc) and another cop returning to Hinamizawa many
years after the Great Hinamizawa Diasaster. As they stroll around the desolate ghost town, they run into Ooishi (dirty
cop) and begin discussing the various theories that have popped up over the course of the last 20 years, concerning
the true nature of Hinamizawa, the disaster, and why many believe it to be more than just a natural disaster.
Many references are made to Takano's notebooks (the ones she passed onto Rena in the final arc) and the many crackpot
theories she'd been recording in a notebook (code named File #34, which is a pun on the name Miyo) about Hinamizawa
and the curse of Oyashiro-sama. All of her nutso aliens, UFOs, and bioterror attack theories are throughly explained
and it's concluded pretty quickly that the bitch was writing some pretty good B-Movie shit.
That is, until talk boils down to a mind-altering virus...
After a good 15 minutes of exposition, fans are treated with the shocking image of a much older Ryuuguu Rena. The only
survivor of the Hinamizawa Disaster.
I think we all hope to look that young and radiant at the 35-40+ mark...
Ooishi begins prodding her about the events that occurred years ago, hoping to uncover more clues that might back up
the theory that the Great Hinamizawa Disaster wasn't in in fact, a natural disaster at all. It seems she can't
remember much, or honestly doesn't want to, but finally settles on a memory of Rika having visited her at the landfill
the night before she took over the school offering her an injection that would "save" her. This little
tidbit of a scene was left out of the first season's final arc, and though it's short, it gets across the point that
Furude Rika is the centerpiece of the entire story without giving it all away just yet, and that this virus
nonsense might have more significance than anyone knows.
The episode closes with various flashbacks to Rena's childhood with her friends and Rika's final words to her at the
landfill close it out. "I am no longer interested in this Hinamizawa...I will set out to search for the new Hinamizawa."
The last few moments really brought home the tone for the new series and the struggle of trying to find a way for
everything to finally work out and finally knowing all the answers.
Not a bad way to get things started at all, and the moments with older Rena were really a bit depressing. Next week's
episode is likely to begin the anime-only arc and get the ball rolling.
More Contra Craziness
July 2nd, 2007
In case anyone hasn't seen it already the
1up Show upped some video of Contra 4
and it's lookin fantastic. Seeing the game in action really helps put a lot
of my fears to rest about this game being a stinkeroo. October can't get here fast enough.
And since the Contra excitement is in full-force these days, I decided to take a look back at some
of my other portable Contra games
. Both, oddly enough, are adaptations of Contra III: The Alien Wars for SNES. Maybe these
games will help you realize why I may have been a bit scared of the latest Contra 4 news.