NES Week Part C: Day Final
July 27th, 2007


Day Final


So here we are at the end of the tunnel. NES Week draws to a close today, but let me assure you that it's definitely going out with a bang. So, without wasting anymore time, let's get to the content, shall we?

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...

TEN "FUCK YOU" MOMENTS IN POLLY NES HISTORY

Here ya go! You can have a nice big fat article where I swear a lot over the things that originally made me swear over them! I was quite a potty-mouthed 8-10 year old, and you can be God damn sure the NES turned out to be one of the biggest reasons why.

Travisty wraps up his 3-part, week long dip into the world of videogame commentary with an extended look at Renegade. Does he have what it takes to stack up against Lorenzo Lamas? Well maybe you should just stop your fuckin gawkin and click the link to find out already!

The Hutch seems to have calmed down a bit after his last video review/commentary yesterday. Come experience the cuter and cuddlier side of Hutchface McButly as buries his face in a bowl of Mad Max Video Review and blows, spraying the contents all over the kitchen.

And we wrap up submissions from readers today with you guessed it, an article by Fat Pat! It wouldn't be a special event here at SMPS without some kind of long-winded contribution from our resident windbag. In it, he says basically everything I've ever tried to tell anyone about my favorite era of gaming. So, be sure to head on over there and give that a look if you've got about 3 hours to spare.

But we're not finished yet, my friends! I have a couple other little sweet morsels to barf into my audience's open and waiting collective mouth.

First up is the last of the little Flash music players. This one's a collection of tunes from a few games that I just can't ever get enough of. Konami, Sunsoft, and Tecmo take up pretty much the bulk of the thing. I avoided the easy to pick stuff like Mega Man in favor of some tunes I don't think get quite the recognition they deserve.

I'll also mention that for the Castlevania III tunes, I captured from the Japanese version of the game, Akumajou Densetsu. The Japanese version contained a special sound chip that gave them more room to work with music-wise so the songs have a lot more "oomph!" So I hope you enjoy these tunes as much as I do.



Lastly, I present to you something awkward. I'm not sure how many of you might be familiar with this, but back at the height of NES fandom in the late 80's and early 90's, there was this goofy videogames game show called Video Power. It was Nothing short of absolutely fucking awkward at all times. You can tell that the main host, "Johnny Arcade" has no fucking clue as to what he's talking about more than 90% of the time, and the poor kids that are chosen to play just seem fucking scared of him. And you don't need to know jack shit about acting to see that about 50% of everything is completely staged.

I found these on YouTube so they may or may not still be there by the time you read this 18 years from now when this site will still obviously be around.

Episode 1 Part 1 | Part 2
Episode 2 Part 1 | Part 2
Episode 3 Part 1 | Part 2
Episode 4 Part 1 | Part 2
Episode 5 Part 1 | Part 2
Episode 6 Part 1 | Part 2
Mickey Tveter Episode Part 1 | Part 2

Now the last episode there is interesting because the dude that was featured as a contestant in it actually wrote an article about his experience. Pretty cool stuff.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a wrap on yet another, and quite possibly the last, NES Week of 8-bit greatness and glory. Why the last? Well, maybe it's just me, but what more needs to be said about our grey shoe-boxy buddy that we haven't said already in the last 3 years? Maybe I'm wrong, who knows? But for now, there are currently no plans to do one next year, unless I change my mind or someone convinces me I should.

What's in the future then? Other console-themed weeks, perhaps? Something not even video game related at all? If you got a suggestion, I'm more than willing to give it a listen.

And so, with the week wrapped up, I can't end this thing without properly thanking those who helped make this whole thing possible by spending their valuable time to help contribute. So, special thanks are in order for LoTR_Dan, Master of AFTER, decoy octopus, Kaz, Peaches, The Hutch, Scott, Travisty, Kjilly, kc Green, and Pitchfork. Once again, you guys fuckin rock.

Good night and good luck!


-PollyCDayDone


NES Week Part C: Day Four
July 26th, 2007

If NES Week was kind of like a lollipop, then I think it'd be shaped like luscious, supple breast. Not only does it provide you with all the nourishment you need to make it through such an exhausting week, but it's just damn fun! Have a squeeze and suck at some of today's offerings!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...

Twenty-Two Games You May or May Not Want To Play

Enjoy shorter, though not written any better, bite-size reviews of many of the Konami games I own from the NES-era. It's exhaust-tastic!

Peaches resurfaces from the landfill he entered months ago when he began reviewing Color Dreams games, and brings with him a fresh look at, not one, but TWO new Color Dreams games AT THE SAME TIME. I honestly don't know whether one should commend that kind of masochism, or have somebody committed for it. Maybe you'll have a better opinion on the situation if you shlep on down there and read it.

And finally today, we have another submission from The Hutch. Ol' Hutchy is touchin some kids and.... .. Touchin some more kids in his video review of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. What is it, the attack of the killer lisps this week? Anyway, you should probably go watch his video before he gets arrested.

Tune in tomorrow for the final day of NES Week action, when Sylvia will say...


-PollyCDayFour


NES Week Part C: WedNESday!
July 25th, 2007

How ya like that little pun in the title, eh? Pretty clever, right? I can assure you that Master of AFTER isn't the one that brought it to my attention and that it fell out of my own incredibly intelligent brain. If he tries to tell you otherwise, he's a filthy whorebag liar!

So, I guess you're here either to find out if you've won or if there's more NES Week goodness if your future. Well, let's find out!

Snoop decoy Dogg's in the motherfuckin house like ev-ery-day and he's got a fresh review for a game he played. And like he said, bitches can't fuck wit dis! And bitches can't fuck with dat! Reviews that he drop, cause you know he don't stop, Mr. Always Finds Men In Nut Hugging Speedos Hot...

God...did I just do that?

...wow...

HEY TRAVISTY IS BACK! He did another one of them there gameplay commentaries, so go on over and check that out. The final video in his series will arrive Friday, so you may want to buy tickets now before they're sold out.

Master of AFTER managed to end up alone in a huge house being pursued by two men of questionable sexual preference. You can read all about it here to find out if he managed to escape or not. I hope he didn't. The fucker.

And we close out the day with what I think is probably my favorite NES soundtrack of all time: Ninja Gaiden II. Everything about the tunes in Ninja Gaiden II was perfect. Great melodies, awesome sounding percussion, and tunes that went on a lot longer than typical NES tuneage seeming more like real song compositions. I present it to you here today!



Whew! That should keep the lot of you busy for a while! I have not ridden a bicycle in 5 years. That depresses me for some reason.


-PollyCWedNESday


NES Week Part C: Day Two
July 24th, 2007

Looks like you came crawling back for more. Well that's good, because there's some more hawt 'n sticky NES Week goodness to keep you company. Grab a knfe and fork and dig the fuck in!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOUR STORY IS ALL ABOUT NINJAS, PRESIDENTS, AND DUDES

The Hutch's first submission this week is pretty green. It dwells in sewers and sneaks out at night to eat all your pizza. If you lack eyes in the back of your head and a Soliton Radar System to detect it, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game shall lay claim to yet another one of your fatty, fatty, dinnertime treats. And your sister. But I already fucked your sister, so it probably doesn't matter at this point.

And finally today, we have a huge contribution from a good ol' fellow named Scott. Unbeknownst to me...I have readers that apparently aren't from the 8eb forum! Turns out Scott's the professor teaching the Zelda II course this year and he's leaking all the test and exam answers to the internet because he had an INCREDIBLE desire to stick it to the man. Help Scott stick it to the man and read his article of Pat proportions... On second thought... I probably should have worded that better... but alas, my backspace key is broken! Honest! :( :( :(

Anyway, the article made me reconsider my stance on the game for a couple days when I tried and failed miserably to have the patience for it again. But after reading Scott's article, you'll probably feel like you just played through it and that's probably good enough for most. GO! READ!

And that's all we got for today! Check back tomorrow to see if you're a winner.


-PollyCDayTwo


NES Week Part C: Day One
July 23rd, 2007

Looks like it's about that time again and you're gonna love it... at least I hope... That's right, you've just stumbled into a house rented out by Dateline NBC in a small rural neighborhood and you're gonna be world famous. Only difference is, Chris Hansen isn't gonna hop out of a closet to bust you for your various illicit online activities while you stammer and bumble around like a complete moron. No siree, you're staring down both smoking barrels of NES Week Part C as soon as you step through that door! A five-day celebration of all things NES, the good and the bad! Like last year, this year's event Features all-new original content from myself and quite a few others. So get yourself comfortable and let all your worries in the world drift away. NES Week is here for ya, adding 8 easy bits of meaning to your pointless, pathetic lives.

Getting things started...

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...

AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF [REDACTED]GY FIGURE SKATING AND FIGHTIN' IS YOUR THING

And once again, this year we've got another heaping helping of content generously provided by readers! First up on the ol' contributions list, busting his SMPS Submission Cherry is LoTR_Dan! He's got a few things to say about Ikari Warriors and if any of you have played the game, you might know what to expect here.

Travisty introduces the art of the multimedia approach to game reviewing and playing commentary for SMPS with the first in his three-part video series coming this week. Mystery Quest is first on the list, so go check it out and keep an eye out for part two coming Wednesday.

And lastly, a fun little addition to things I'll be adding to the front page this week. I made a few neat little Flash music players to throw out a couple of my favorite soundtracks and some random tunes here and there. This first one shouldn't surprise anyone at all.

These are a little big, so give em time to load. They're pretty easy to work with (I know my audience), so crank it up and enjoy some great 8-bit tuneage!



And that wraps up the first day of content. Check back in tomorrow for another dose.

Couple other things I should mention before closing the first day's festivities out. A special thanks goes out to Mr. kc Green once again for providing the cute little NES icons you'll see on the front page this week. Very cool stuff as are all 815,000,000 of his webcomics, so go check those out too. Also thanks go out to both Kjilly and Kaz for their work in helping pull together the idea for the NES Week Part C logo you'll see up there at the top of every entry this week. Kazlo-bob did the coloring and Kjilly pulled the lettering closer together.

Now get the fuck outta here, you're scaring me!


-PollyCDayOne


NES Week: The Final Reminder & P&P Stuff
July 20th, 2007

Just a head's up to those who might still be lagging with their NES Week contributions. I'd really appreciate it if you could get them to me by Sunday night. I have the week planned out for the most part with contributions I already have, but the schedule is flexible. I'll still accept contributions next week providing that they get to me no later than Wednesday night/early Thursday morning (since I usually have the next day's update up at midnight). So, if you're lagging behind there's still time. Shoot that shit down to:

socksmakepeoplesexy.mailbag@gmail.com

In other news, The Adventures of Pat & Polly will be taking a small 3-4 week hiatus (I know you all reeeeaaally care). All that adventuring sure does make ol' Pat and Polly tired, so they need a break.

In the meantime, and I'm not asking or begging anyone to, if you have a P&P idea and would like to try your hand at doing a guest spot lemme see whatcha got. I only ask that submissions keep with P&P's lighthearted (read: stupid) theme and not be vulgar or explicit. Violence is A-Ok though! Send any guest strips, art, or what have you to the email address above. I'll contact you as soon as I get it and let you know if I'll be using it. If I don't use it, I'll try and explain why, and please don't be too offended if I don't. I have rejected a couple of guest strips in the past (isn't that fucking hilarious? My shitty comic rejecting something?), so I hope that things can go as civil as those did.

Welp! Until next week! Have a lovely fucking weekend!


-Pollyprepare


Konami On The Go!
July 10th, 2007

I've owned it for about a week now, and pootle around with it every now and then at work when there's time for pootling, that's why I wroted some stufferinos about Konami Classics Series Arcade Hits for the Nintendo DS.

NES Week Part C in TWO MORE WEEKS! FEEEEED MEEEEEE!


-Pollyportable


Look Ma, We're Next Gen!
July 6th, 2007

No reason to get your hopes up, my loyal dog-like followers. I haven't purchased a 360, so I'm not available to completely and utterly humiliate your asses in every XBLA game currently available yet. I know, I know, shit sucks like that sometimes.

Actually, what we have here are the first two next-gen reviews for the site courtesy of Kaz. He recently experimented with drugs while playing The Darkness and Tenchu Z and was left so inspired afterward that he just HAD to write something about them, giving him a monopoly over the site's XBORX 360/Next-Gen content. A round of applause for the man with no competition!


DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU PLAN ON FOLLOWING HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI KAI AND HAVE NOT ALREADY SEEN THE FIRST EPISODE! SPOILERS N' SHIT MAN! SPOILERS N' SHIT...KINDA!

I'm not gonna try and turn this into an anime blog or anything, and I likely won't try and cover every episode as it airs (or I might, who the fuck knows?), because I'm just not all that good at shit like that. I doubt even 90% of the 4 people (figure that one out) that read my site will give two flipping shits about it anyway, but it's my site and I'll [REDACTED] it up if I wanna.

It's just somethin to do!

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai episode 1 aired yesterday and was subbed pretty damn fast. I can't say the quality of the subs are fantastic, given that it's a speed sub, but they manage to get enough across so that you understand what's really going on. In all likelihood, you'll wanna grab this one and watch it once, then grab one of the better groups' releases, watch that and then archive it.

The new OP this season isn't too bad, but it's not quite as good as the first season's. As with the rest of Higurashi's story, the OP focuses almost entirely on Rika, showcasing snapshots of other characters here and there. The song itself is alright, but I feel it's a little too J-Poppy for a show like this. The ED is a dreamy little number and much better in my opinion than last season's Why Or Why Not? It features a mix of stills and small animated clips of characters together and... MOTHER FUCKING BAM! SURPRISE LOLI LESBIAN KISS!



You enjoy that! Okay, it's more like a split second deal where their faces come close, hidden behind their hands so maybe they're not, but you know what they want us to think. Especially after all that hand-play before it...

This isn't the first episode of the new arc that had an advance screening a couple weeks ago. This episode, entitled "Reunion", is a bit of a one-off deal, that tries to fill in a couple gaps left from the first season. It comes from the games' TIPS. If you're not familiar with those, don't worry about it.



It begins with Akasaka (the cop Rika met in season 1's fourth arc) and another cop returning to Hinamizawa many years after the Great Hinamizawa Diasaster. As they stroll around the desolate ghost town, they run into Ooishi (dirty cop) and begin discussing the various theories that have popped up over the course of the last 20 years, concerning the true nature of Hinamizawa, the disaster, and why many believe it to be more than just a natural disaster.

Many references are made to Takano's notebooks (the ones she passed onto Rena in the final arc) and the many crackpot theories she'd been recording in a notebook (code named File #34, which is a pun on the name Miyo) about Hinamizawa and the curse of Oyashiro-sama. All of her nutso aliens, UFOs, and bioterror attack theories are throughly explained and it's concluded pretty quickly that the bitch was writing some pretty good B-Movie shit.

That is, until talk boils down to a mind-altering virus...

After a good 15 minutes of exposition, fans are treated with the shocking image of a much older Ryuuguu Rena. The only survivor of the Hinamizawa Disaster.





I think we all hope to look that young and radiant at the 35-40+ mark...

Ooishi begins prodding her about the events that occurred years ago, hoping to uncover more clues that might back up the theory that the Great Hinamizawa Disaster wasn't in in fact, a natural disaster at all. It seems she can't remember much, or honestly doesn't want to, but finally settles on a memory of Rika having visited her at the landfill the night before she took over the school offering her an injection that would "save" her. This little tidbit of a scene was left out of the first season's final arc, and though it's short, it gets across the point that Furude Rika is the centerpiece of the entire story without giving it all away just yet, and that this virus nonsense might have more significance than anyone knows.



The episode closes with various flashbacks to Rena's childhood with her friends and Rika's final words to her at the landfill close it out. "I am no longer interested in this Hinamizawa...I will set out to search for the new Hinamizawa." The last few moments really brought home the tone for the new series and the struggle of trying to find a way for everything to finally work out and finally knowing all the answers.

Not a bad way to get things started at all, and the moments with older Rena were really a bit depressing. Next week's episode is likely to begin the anime-only arc and get the ball rolling.


-Pollykai


More Contra Craziness
July 2nd, 2007

In case anyone hasn't seen it already the 1up Show upped some video of Contra 4 and it's lookin fantastic. Seeing the game in action really helps put a lot of my fears to rest about this game being a stinkeroo. October can't get here fast enough.

And since the Contra excitement is in full-force these days, I decided to take a look back at some of my other portable Contra games. Both, oddly enough, are adaptations of Contra III: The Alien Wars for SNES. Maybe these games will help you realize why I may have been a bit scared of the latest Contra 4 news.


-Pollyonlyneedsonelife




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