NES Week Part Deux: Day Final And Closing Statement
July 7th, 2006
Well this is it. The final day! We've all made it this far, but the journey ends here for most of you, and
since I'm the site's creator, I get to be the only survivor. See ya in hell, fuckmos!
It's the end of the line for Mr. Fallout as his final 20 Story
crashes down on top of him leaving nothing but a little bloddy puddle with
some bone dust residue that byron's likely to stop by and snort up.
late submission landed him three shurikens to the face
one sai right up the ol poopy hole. No word on whether he enjoyed it or not, but
all signs are pointing to "Yes."
Peaches' final installment of Human Reviews
came from out of
nowhere and strangled him to death with his own pants. There's quite a few questions
surrounding this one and as you might guess they're all linked to the pants thing, but
I think we're all better off not knowing.
has disappeared. Currently,
his whereabouts are unknown and the only clue left behind was an increibly long article
that's probably going to knock you all down
. I probably should
have turned this evidence over to the police beforehand, but eh. Fuck it.
demise as he jumped toward that ladder hanging over the spikes and couldn't
manage to press Up in time. He eploded into a million, bazillion particles,
leaving behind only a mess
. It was his last life too :(
The final piece of NES Week happy-super-awesome-mega delightness happens to be some
old scans I found about a year ago and only managed to remember I had recently.
They're probably really awesome
if you were a child
of the NES era, and stupid and boring if you weren't...Kjil.
And that's a wrap!
It's been an exhausting week getting this whole thing together, but it was
incredibly worth it. Nothing like revisiting one of the coolest periods of
your life and being able to relate to others' experiences as well. The trip
down memory late was a fantastic sucess.
To be quite honest, when I originally announced this event and asked for reader
submitted content, I didn't expect more than 2-5 pieces to make it in. Everyone
involved really amazed me though, and put forth a lot of work and time to
help make this something much bigger than it was supposed to be. What started
out as a really boring 5 review week-long event turned into probably the best
nostalgia trip ever, thanks to the efforts of a lot of really cool people.
So to Jaq, Mild Guy, kc Green, Pitchfork, Peaches, Fallout, Hutch, Spyda, decoy,
Kjilly, and Chimpo McCrazypants
, I send my sincerest thanks for your time and
effort and truly appreciate all you've contributed to making this whole thing work.
You all fucking rock.
Thank you, and good night!
NES Week Part Deux: Day Four
July 6th, 2006
We're closing in on the homestretch as this wonderful week of 8-Bit Goodness
enters its fourth day of that oh so good ooey, gooey content. So get a plate,
cause this shit's DELICIOUS!
AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU STRUCK OUT
AT THE OLD BALLGAME
And that will be my final contribution of the week, so I hope you enjoyed
them. I had an article planned, but it's just not coming out the way I want
it to and I don't want to do another review just for the sake of having
something. I'll probably finish it at a later date, though.
Anyway, Mr. Fallout won't stop having sex with your mom until you go and
check out his fourth review
of the week.
It's guaranteed to delight. Well, not really. It's typical Fallout.
God I love having a site that no one else can edit! YOU GOT BURNED, SON!
And in this corner, in the black trunks with white trim, weighing in at
staggering 6,479 characters, including various HTML markup...Your current
reigning champion of the WVBA...Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together
for Mild "Mild Guy" Guy! Be sure to watch out for that vicious right
of one of the single, if not, GREATEST NES games EVER released.
Dodge his punch, then counter-punch!
And while we're sort of at a theme here today with the sports-like reviews (believe
me this wasn't intentional), The Hutch
has submitted a lovely turquoise review of a game
to do a million things at once!
And last, but certainly not least, though never really mentioned to have been made
as an update for NES Week, Kjilly's done went and drawed one awesome as fuck looking
head sucker. Watch in awe. Aeria gloris
Now get the fuck out. I gotta get this place ready for tomorrow!
NES Week Part Deux: Day Three
July 5th, 2006
You say I'm horrible to you. That I don't appreciate you enough. That I don't
say "I love you" as much as I used to." That you don't like the razor strap
beatings...WELL THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK?
Ohhhhhh, think I know what it is... You just can't get enough of this NES Week stuff
can you? Yeah, no matter how bad things get, it'll always be about the content. Well,
baby, lay back and enjoy, cause I got even more of that hot text n' pics on screen
action comin right atcha.
Now take your clothes off.
AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY...aw fuck it I can't
think of one reason why ANYONE would want to play this game
I think things may be going just as bad for poor Fallout over here too, as we
check in on part three
of his five day
review extravaganza. Careful, though. This review DOES contain reference
to a place where food can be acquired, and I don't want my site being blamed
for you becoming even more of a fatty, fat, fat.
Things are about to get a little long-winded up in here, as Spydakween has
decided to take over the entire conversation and not let anyone get a word
in edge-wise as he shares with us some gaming experiences
from his childhood
. Given the guy's absolute adoration of his own
voice and words, I expected an entire book to be written, but amazingly
(and quite thankfully) he's given us all something we can easily manage.
Except byron. He's dumb. And can't read. And is gay...
And once again, we check in on ol' Peachface McFuckhead for part
of his piece on Human Reviews. Go read it. It'll make you a better person
and doves will appear from out of nowhere and fly around. I don't know why.
And that's your day's dose of content. Now get out. No one said you could stay
over after we were finished.
NES Week Part Deux: Day Two
July 4th, 2006
Welcome one and all to NES Week Part Deux: Day B! ARE WE READY FOR FUN YET?
HAVEN'T HAD YOUR COFFEE YET, YOU SAY? WELL LOOK WHO GIVES A FUCK! (read:
not me!) ON WITH THE BITCHIN' SHOW!
AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOUR FUR IS GREEN
AND YOU LOOOOOOOOVE SWEARING A WHOLE LOT
Fallout's back with part two in his series of reviews with
a game no one's probably heard of, but you should
at least try just once
Seriously, after reading this review, I needed to get
some better screencaps for it, so I went out and grabbed a ROM anticipating I'd only
play one or two minutes tops. I was still playing 90 fucking minutes later. I
honestly can't explain it. Maybe he can. .
Also, in with his first of two reviews this week
one Mr. Mild Guy. He's fucking creepy, kooky, mysterious, and extremely spooky, but
we love him just the same and I think you will too! Ya know what else I heard
about him though? That his house is a museum where people come to see him!
I bet that's a scream! (God that was just downright terrible, wasn't it?)
And finally on the list today, good ol'
drops by and starts
blabbering and blabbering and blabbering like always
about the "olden" days. He DID steal my idea for an article, but we try not
to upset Uncle Pitchfork too much or he loses control of his bowels :(
Anyway, It's a damn good read and I think he really captures the feeling
of what it was like to be a kid in the good ol' days and have an NES.
Thank you, come again! All salads are 50% off tomorrow!
NES Week Part Deux: Day One
July 4th, 2006
Well, I knew you couldn't wait any longer for it, and you can finally rest
easier and let the joy flow freely back into your meaningless little lives
knowing that it's FINALLY HERE! Yes, the time has come for the sky to burst
open and drop a complete five days worth of NES gaming goodness down onto your
miserable heads. All five days are ready to roll and are packed full of
reviews, an article here and there, and ... well other shit, I think. So,
pull up a chair and enjoy all the content forthcoming this week and reminisce
with me and my friends about the best (and believe me, some of the
absolute worst) that the NES era of gaming had to offer.
AN NES GAME YOU SHOULD PLAY IF YOU OWN A BLUE
I'm not the only one with fresh content this time around. In fact, Fallout
has proven to be my biggest copycat. Just like myself, he's got a review
per day as well, and he'll absolutely cry his little eyeballs out if you don't
head on over and take a look at part one
of his five
day NES Special.
brings us part one of his
three part series in the field of Human Reviews
. An interesting
and original idea worth checking out. Part Two will be posted on Wednesday, so keep
an eye out for it.
And moving over to the weirder side... Well shit, this one's in the paragraph AFTER
Peaches... sooo..hmmm.. ANYWAY, we've got a nice contribution
in the form of an article from one Jack. He's taken the time to give you all
some schoolin' on what he believes to be a high profile, yet
highly underappreciated game
. So click that fucking link, you tardmos. And
listen to what Uncle Jack has to say. He may seem out of his God damn head at
times, but he's wise beyond his years. Okay, he paid me $20 to say that.
A couple other contributions come in the form of some cosmetic things you'll see
around the site all week.
ChimpoMcCrazypants was kind enough to re-do the smps banner and give it some
old-school 8-Bit flavor for the week. I think it looks rather awesome (and
you do too). I heard that he even stayed up super late to get it finished,
so thanks little robot dude.
was kind enough to submit the little
icons you'll see on every front page post this week, so enjoy them and give his
comics a look while you're at it. He put them together on really short notice
and did a magnificent job on all of them (which you'll see later in the week)
and he's got my sincere thanks for doing so.
So, enjoy the content, drag out your NES, and play some good games.