Genesis Week: Day One!
July 28th, 2008

The endless blabbering about it can finally end. All bets are off. We have arrived, ladies and gentlemen. I guess you bastards on the West got lucky. It's three hours early for you!

We now stand at the wide open maw of a grotesque and otherworldly beast ready to drench us all in its glorious vomit of 16-bit ooey gooey (warm n' sticky!) goodness! No face guards or riot shields can protect you now, so you might as well just stand there and take it.

Yeahhhhh...take it! TAKE IT! You dirty thing, you...

Ahhhhem.....firrrrrrrst up!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


Next on the list, we have a week-long opinion piece about things that the Genesis did better than a certain unnamed console. You can slide on over and read part 1 today! There'll be a new one every day this week and I know that just makes you so happy!

Thirdly, comes a three-part dissection and review piece about the Valis series of games that were released on the Genesis. You can read all about Valis: The Fantasm Soldier today, with follow-ups arriving Wednesday and Friday.

Now we move our attention to you, my dear contributors.

Rhete is, for lack of a better word, insane. That's the only real way you can describe his five-part contribution this week. He has vowed to review what he believes to be EVERY GOD DAMN SHOOTER IN THE GENESIS LIBRARY. You need to hop on over and get started on part one. As if reviewing all the games wasn't enough, there's even lotsa videos with flashy flashies, so it's sure to hold your attention throughout the duration. Bring rations, you're gonna be there a while.

And finally today, we have a contribution from TheArchVillain. He's decided to take an entirely different look at this Genesis Week thingo and has some fairly interesting opinions about Sega as a whole. As a fairly evil person as well, I found myself quite moved by his words and I think you will be too!

And that's day one, kiddies! Tune in tomorrow when Polly will say:


I think we just planned the rest of your day!


Genesis Week: Day Two!
July 29th, 2008


I was NOT expecting you fuckers this early. Luckily for you, the next batch of Genesis Week goodies are hot off the press and ready for your complete attention!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


Up next, I present to you Part Two of my five part opinion piece on what Genesis did better than Super Nintendo. This one is sure to provoke cries of "WHO FUCKING CARES" from the crowd. I'm happy to have wasted your time, though.

Rhete is back once again today with another installment in his week-long series about how to play through and review every genesis shooter and go insane in 16 easy bits. There's titties. I promise.

The Hutch makes his glorious return to after a brief stint in rehab. The critics said he'd never be the same after all those public intoxication violations and horrible tabloid pics, but we'll let you be the judge as you give his brand new piece about the Genesis a whirl. I hear it has a guest appearance or two. Seems nobody can cut an album these days by themselves, but given Hutchface's situation, we'll look past it for now.

And finally today, we have a piece from our old friend, the Famous Mr. Ed. (Hey, fuck you, if I have to deal with endless "Polly Want A Cracker?" bullshit, he can deal with being a fuckin' talking horse.) He wrote one of those when I was a kid this is what I played articles that I enjoy so much because I'm weird like that. You're weird too (but not like that) and you should give this one a read right away!

Now I am completely sold out of new Genesis Week content and tomatoes for today. You'll have to come back tomorrow for some more. Just line up like you did today and maybe you'll get lucky.


Genesis Week: Day Three!
July 30th, 2008

Welcome one and all to Genesis Week: Hump Day! I can tell you're all as excited as I am to get this whole shindig started, so why waste time with another pointless intro when we got lotsa Genesis goodies for you today? Bend over and spread 'em real wide, cause we're hittin' full-force today!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


And certainly you all haven't forgot about that my week-long "I'm right" tirade about Genesis Doing It Better. Of course you haven't! So you should be more than ready to hop on over and have a look at part 3. This one's got some bite! Yeowch!

Today we also dive head first into the second Valis game on the Genny! The often overlooked and admittedly strange Syd of Valis takes the stage today, bringing with it some big heads, big charm, and a lotta color!

Yep, somehow Rhete is still alive and hasn't gone insane yet. He's still in the midst of his freaskishly insane Genesis shmup frenzy. Part three of this sprawling epic was thrown through my window about six minutes ago followed by some weird random guttural utterances. I think he may be starting to crack a little bit...

And finally, my friend and yours, dear Kazlo managed to pull himself away from his absolutely ridiculous yuri collection (4.27TB? Are you shitting me?) to deliver a wonderful little piece about one of those off the beaten path Genny carts that you all really need to pick up and love. Or Kaz won't share his yuri with you!

That'll do it for another fine day of 16-bit awesome! Tune in tomorrow at the same time or I'mma steal your fucking bike.


Genesis Week: Day Four!
July 31st, 2008

Today's banner courtesy of Rhete

Welp, we're nearing the end folks. A great ride it has been so far, but you've no need to fear. We're far from out of fresh content to serve up and keep you busy today, so let's get right to it, shall we?

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


We're nearing the end of our list of things Genesis did better than SNES! After yesterday's brilliant entry, I wonder what today's could be, I wonder, I wonder...

It's been a long journey, but today, Rhete's epic journey of playing every Genesis shmup finally comes to and end as he hits the final few years of releases. That in no way means he's finished though. You'll have to tune in tomorrow for something REALLY special goin' on with this here article.

We haven't heard from our good friend Scott in quite a long while, but it appears he's just been storin' all them words up and decided to open his mouth and let 'em all gush out in his dissection/review of an obscure as hell (though actually quite neat) Genesis port of a PC game. Really interesting stuff, so give it a read.

Last up, ol Hutchface dropped by with one of them there video reviews. Could swear he turned one of those in almost exactly a year ago. Today he's got a few words to say about Sonic 3D Blast. Wonder what they could be?

That'll wrap up another fine day of sweet, sweet Genesis goodness. Tune in tomorrow for the final day of festivities. There'll be a parade and everything!

From all of us, to all of you, have a great day!


Genesis Week: Day FINAL!
July 32nd, 2008

And here we are, the final day of Genesis Week. Amazing how fast this week's gone by, but I guess when you have five consecutive days of great content, time just flies. So, let's go ahead and dive face first into the last pile of Genesis Awesomery and savour every last drop!

Socksmakepeoplesexy.Net Presents...


It's been a long week, but the last piece of my week-long five-parter is finally here. Maybe this one will cover the rest of the bases if you think I've missed out on one of your favorites. Only one way to find out, friends!

The Final Genesis Valis Adventure is also featured today! Yes, it seems our intensely yellow and shallow heroine has had a bit of a rough week, but can she pull out all the stops in this final shot at 16-bit glory? Tune to channel V and find out!

It's been a very long and exhausting week for Rhete as he lasered, bombed, and reviewed his way through every shmup on the ol' Genny. He couldn't think of a more fitting way to end the week than having an awards ceremony to celebrate the best and worst of them all. It's kinda like those awards days they had the last day of school in grade school or something! So very exciting!

After the WILD and OUT OF CONTROL popularity of Hutchface McHutcherson's previous video review, what better way to follow-up an astonishing success than with yet another one? This time he takes another look at what was the sole Genesis game reviewed on this site until this week replacing the previous one with a new shiny and pretty one!

We end our festivities with a bit of a... "well at least she tried...?" moment. Ether, missing the point since April 1st, much like her readers, managed to squeak in a last-minute update for Genesis Week. Though it completely misses the mark, I guess I won't let it be said that I'm not an equal-opportunity... content accepter? I dunno...

And thus ends another week-long celebration! It's been a treat presenting everything this week to you, and it certainly would not have been quite as exciting without the help of our friends. So, everyone feel free to give Rhete, The Hutch, Kazlo, Scott, TheArchVillain, Ed, and... Ether, I think... give 'em all a nice warm round of internet applause. You guys rock and your submissions are always welcome.

Have a great weekend, folks! I'll be doing some re-organization, cleaning up, and adding a few new things to the site over the weekend. Shortly after that, I hope to begin adding some more regular-ish content, so stay tuned! Things are-a-happenin' here!



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