No's Top 10 Worst Games of All-Time (2005 Version)
by No




10 - Fable

Why: You know there is something wrong with a game when the credits are longer than the actual game. Especially when the amount of babies born is more than the hours of the game!

To be blunt, this game is one of the most disappointing games I've ever had the pleasure of playing, what the hell were they doing those several years of making the game? The content in the overall game was lacking and it just felt like I was some beta tester for the game we were promised. What the fuck? What happened to those open-ended areas they promised? The feeling that the world in the game was constantly changing? The story? You get what I'm saying.

Peter M(The human version of Sony itself). really, REALLY dropped the fucking ball with all the hype he was making for this game.




9 - Chrono Cross

Why: One would expect a sequel to a legendary game like Chrono Trigger to be just as great as the first one is. Alas, it was not meant to be!

This game has the worst battle system I have ever seen. Seriously, what the hell is up with this Elements system? It just felt like it was tacked on at the last minute and wasn't really done. The game also gives you lots of pointless characters, you even get a chef who was possessed by his dark side and a kid who uses a fishing rod(Could it get anymore silly than that?) for a weapon and looks like a rockstar!





8 - Counter Strike

Why: Following the crappiest community ever, I was never too fond of this game the times I played it. I have to wonder what is so great about it?

Is is because it's supposely realistic? There's nothing realistic about bunny hopping you dumbys! It is also very boring waiting for all your teammates to die or win the game when you have died. It just feels silly.

DAMN OUR EYES, DAMN THE HACKERS TOO KEKEKE!











7 - Rainbow Six 3

Why: I hate games that people claim are very realistic like this.

In truth there's nothing really realstic about this game unless soldiers actually couch up and down like it's some such of shitty dance and you can't hit an enemy up close with a hundred bullets due to the shitty hit dectection. THAT'S REALISTIC?

Then all of a sudden the guy turns around and in one shot you're dead. If this game had better hit detection I'd be more inclined to say it is realistic. It doesn't help that there's a lean glitch in this game that nearly makes you unhittable either.





6 - Alexander

Why: It's just a very dull RTS game. All you gotta do is just make alot of units then run over the enemy like some sort of death march! It doesn't help that the voice acting is just flat out boring either.

Nor does the fact that units sometimes won't do as you told to do. Like charging poor Alexander into a group of spearmen and see him get butt raped while he disobeys my command(Not like he doesn't like it though olo1111!)

HEY WARRIOR WITH CLUB, that's what one of the units are actually called in the game. Could they be any more lazier than that(Probably not, see Prince of Persia 2)?










5 - Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Why: Take some of the things that first one had(Story and music come to mind) then fuck em up and make an emo, angsty character and put some shitty music in it. Also since those aren't enough lets add in some game breaking bugs along with the package too.

OH YEAHHHHHH, FEEL THE BUGGINESS as when you are nearing the final part of the game the transporter won't work which pretty means GAME OVER

Awesome job Ubisoft.







4 - New World Order

Why: Framerate problems when you encounter enemies. Plus the fact that it's trying to be like Counter-Strike in the fact that you can buy weapons at the beginning point of the mission. It doesn't help that the levels are something that could probably be in PSX game. Nuff said.

Even if you have a PC that can run Battlefield 2 at max settings, it'll still slow down, I kid you not!













3 - Choaniki

Why: It's a fighting game and generally I'm not a big fan of them.

But this one is the exception! My god...what in the hell were they thinking? The fighting felt silly as hell as the enviroments looked something out of gay porn flick. What made them think that this game was gonna sell greatly in Japan at all? EVEN SHAQ FU CAN'T GIVE ME THIS MUCH PAIN IN MY GROIN

LOL GAY MEN IN SPEEDOS FIGHTING IN EACH OTHER REALLY MAKES ONE HELL OF A GAME ALRIGHT

















2 - Custer's Revenge

Why: One would wonder how something like this would even come up in the sickest of minds.

Basically all you do is dry hump this Indian girl tied to a cactus

If you beat off to this game, you deserve a one-way ticket to a lobotomy! Then again, one would wonder how dry humping sea horses is arousing. Or even sexy.

AH YES, THE NORSEMEN ARE COMING! THEY'RE COMING I TELL YOU!







1 - Superman 64

Why: You know it had to come down to this.

WITH CONTROLS THAT'LL PUMP YOUR NADS AND GRAPHICS THAT'LL MAKE YOU WETTER THAN BON JOVI, ALL FOR FUCKING $70 DOLLRS AT YOUR TOYS R US. That and you fly though rings in order though get further in a game that's buggy as shit, what the fuck Titus?

Behold! This game is truly apart of the Four Norsemen of the Apocalypse. Even worse than E.T. or Big Rigs(At least that game boosts your self-esteem :x).

Now leave me. My soul must recover from THIS EVIL; I SHOULD'VE FILLED YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT






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